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2014 season opener: Pink vs. Black bout

On Saturday, March 8th, Long Island finally got a break from the harsh winter and our fans finally got a taste of what's to come this season! Teams clad in Pink and Black were a mash-up of new and old faces. Let's start with the Black Team: Account DeeRacula, Baby Bop Your Face, Betty or Not, Ciguappa, C-Roll, Dandy Rough, Dolce Beata, Femme&M, Ozzy and Trinity. Team Black was led by captains Angry Penguin and Dropkick Dolly. The Pink Team was comprised of ATTACKACARDIC, The Bionic Broad, Chest Blockwell, Crashtastic Cate, Cthu' Lou, Gertie Bomb, Jamaican Kush, Kolohe Kat, Lucille Wrecking Ball and ShamPAIN. Team Pink was led by captains Breakneck Brie & Thin Slice of Violence.

The bout started off action packed as Slice (Pink) lined up against Trinity (Black). Trinity would go to the box for a forearm before breaking the pack, allowing Slice to score 17 points. However, as the jam ended, Slice received a late back block penalty sending her to the box. C-Roll (Black) would take the line unopposed. She earned lead as well as 5 points. As C-Roll called off the jam Slice would receive another late major, this time for an illegal procedure, sending her back to the box. With Slice in the box, Account DeeRacula would take the jammer line and accumulate a 15-point power jam changing the lead to Black 25 to 17. Pink realized what damage had been done and decided to bring in the big guns. Rebel veterans Breakneck Brie & ATTACKACARDIC would put up 19 and 35 points, consecutively, changing the lead back to the Pink Team and leaving the score at 75 to 29. In jam 20 the Pink Team would get into penalty trouble giving C-Roll a chance to bring the Black Team back into this game with a 27 point power jam. Black Team's blockers, Dropkick Dolly, Angry Penguin, Femme&M and Ozzy made it very difficult for Pink's jammers to break the pack. Trinity, Dropkick Dolly and C-Roll chipped away at Pink's lead ending the first period in a nail biter of a bout. 102 to 101 Pink.

In the start of the second half the Black Team was held scoreless in the first 2 jams, as jammers, ATTACKACARDIC and Crashtastic Cate would perform the 'hit-it-and-quit-it' technique — chipping away at the score. In jam 4 of the second half Breakneck Brie would go to the box for a track cut leaving the Black Team' Captain, Angry Penguin, on the track unopposed to score an 18 point power jam changing the lead 133 to 125 in favor of Black. That lead was short lived, as the Pink blockers would aid to keep Black scoreless for 3 consecutive jams, 140 to 133 Pink. In jam 9 penalties would creep up on Pink again allowing Trinity (Black) to take advantage with a 19 point power jam and another lead change 161 to 140 Black. The lead would change again back to Pink due to big jams by Crashtastic Cate and ATTACKACARDIC. The bout would come down to the final jam.. Pink Team Captain Thin Slice of Violence took the jammer line against C-Roll. As the whistle blew Pink blockers Chest Blockwell, ShamPAIN, Breakneck Brie and Kolohe Kat would hold C-Roll back and force a cut track giving Slice one last power jam. 20 more points were awarded to the Pink Team.

Pink Lead Scorers
ATTACKACARDIC 103 points (13 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 54 Points (12 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 48 points (12 jams)

Black Lead Scorers
C-Roll 75 points (18 jams)
Trinity 65 points (16 jams)
Angry Penguin 25 points (6 jams)

MVP Blockers
Pink Breakneck Brie
Black Femme&M

MVP Jammers
Pink Thin Slice of Violence3
Black Angry Penguin

NY All Stars vs. NY Bad Apples bout recap

On Saturday February 15th the Long Island Roller Rebels kicked off their 9th season hosting the NY All Stars vs. the NY Bad Apples. Both teams featured Long Island skaters from seasons past and present. The Bout started with All Star's Brazilian Nut earning lead jammer and scoring 13 points before calling off the jam. This prevented Bad Apples Byers Remorse (GGRD) from scoring any points. In jam 6 All Stars Gunder N Lighting (ILWR) would obtain the largest scoring power jam of the evening (34 points) as Bad Apples jammer Smashing Pumpkin (SRD) received a forearm major. The Bad Apples would chip away at the All Stars lead with strong blocking by Violet KnockOut, Point N Shoot, Megahurtz and Queen Benzene . The Bad Apples would see some big jams from Byers Remorse and Anne Phetamean (GGRD) but would end the first period in a deficit. All Stars 123 to Bad Apples 86.

Returning to the second half the All Stars were ready to take to the track. Big points were put up by All Star jammers Lauren Forcer (SRD) and ATTACKACARDIC (LIRR) to secure the lead for the remainder of the bout. In jam number 10 the Bad Apples put Violet KnockOut (GGRD) on the jammer line for the first time unopposed. She earned lead jammer status and put up 20 points leaving the score at 234-131 in favor of the All Stars. The remainder of the bout was extremely competitive with each team alternating lead jammer status and strategically scoring 1 or 2 points before calling off the jam as the opposing jammer approached the pack. In the last jam of this bout Vicious van GoGo (GGRD) of the All Stars lined up against Anne Phetamean (GGRD) of the Bad Apples on the jammer line. GoGo would gain lead jammer and rack up 28 points as the period clock ran down. With a win for the New York All Stars the final score would be: NY All Stars 272, NY Bad Apples 160

NY All Stars Lead Scorers
Lauren Forcer 76pts (8 jams)
Gunder N Lighting 70pts (5 jams)
ATTACKACARDIC 61pts (10 jams)

NY Bad Apples Lead Scorers
Byers Remorse 42pts (13 jams)
Massacre Marie 34pts (8 jams)
ROCKS! 33pts (7 jams)

NY All Stars MVP's
Blocker MVP HaHa Hatchet

NY Bad Apple MVP's
Jammer MVP Byers Remorse
Blocker MVP Mega Hurtz


On Friday, Dec. 6, 2013, the Rebels celebrated the end of the season at the 8th Annual Pink & Black Awards. There was a lot to celebrate! Moving up the WFTDA rankings to #75, becoming a Non-for-Profit, both Betty or Not & Captain Morgan expecting little future derby players and our new Fresh Bloods for 2014!

Here's your 2013 LIRR winners:

League Awards
-Most Improved: Cthu' Lou #32
-Unsung Hero: Crashtastic Cate #13 & Wushu Sugar #6
-Best Ass: Account Deeracula #16
-Bio-hazard (Smelliest Pads): Femme&M #30
-Rebel Yell (Loudest On Track): Chest Blockwell #7
-Best in Stripes: Boot Hillbillie
-Favorite Official: Danger Prone Daphne

Rock-A-Betty Bruiser Awards
-MVP Blocker: Nautical Vile #10
-MVP Track Leader: ERMAGERD! #1212
-MVP Jammer: Revelyn Sin #2 & ERMAGERD! #1212
-Best Wall: Account DeeRacula #16, ERMAGERD! #1212, FEMME&M #30 & Natical Vile #10

LIRR All Stars Awards
-MVP Blocker: Amaretto Sourpuss #214
-MVP Track Leader: Angry Penguin #19 & Berry Boom Boom #23
-Best Wall: Amaretto Sourpuss #214, Angry Penguin #19, Breakneck Brie #79, Berry Boom Boom #23 & Point N Shoot #T-5

As we ended the evening we honored retiring Roller Rebels: Amaretto Sourpuss #214, Point N Shoot #T-5 and Number 2. These ladies will be missed!


On Saturday November 9th history was made as the Ladies of Laceration won there first ever Championship against the Rolling Thundercats. The Thundercats have never lost a championship in the history of the Long Island Roller Rebels.

The Cats started off the period with 8 year veteran, C-Roll jamming against ATTACKACARDIC. The Thundercats would take the first 4 points and call it off, but that was the last points they put on the board until jam 8 when C-Roll would gain 2 points to Revelyn Sin' 0. Jammer rotation for the Ladies was a strict ATTACKACARDIC, Revelyn Sin and Thin Slice of Violence, until the second half when we would also see Bad As* Nat and Point n Shoot take the jammer line. Consecutive penalties by the Thundercat jammers were just what the Ladies needed to take over the scoreboard. In jam 12 Thin Slice of Violence would put up a stunning 29pt jam while Crashtastic Cate of the Thundercats served time in the box for a cut track. However ATTACKACRDIC wanted to put one more hurt on the Cats to seal the period in the final jam of period 1. ATTACKACARDIC scored 20 points to C-Roll' goose egg, while she served time in the box for a cut track. The period would end quite in favor of the Ladies 129-32.

At the start of period 2, C-Roll would remain in the box while ATTACKARDIC put up an additional 4 points. C-Roll was not about to let the Ladies take the win. In jam 8, with help from her blockers, Chest Blockwell, Gertie Bomb, Dropkick Dolly and Dolce Beata, C-Roll put up the highest point total in one jam of the game, with 35 points!!! However this would not be enough for a comeback. Even though T-Cats jammers Crashtastic Cate, C-Roll, KnockOut Kid and Predator-in-Chief chipped away at the score, it was already too late. The Ladies would win the 2013 Joy Cup with a score of 207-127.

The Long Island Roller Rebels would like to say farewell and best wishes to Point n Shoot as she hangs up her skates for retirement. She was a skater with the Hellions of Troy located in Troy NY until 2009 when she transferred to the Long Island Roller Rebels. She has been a valuable member of the coaching committee and head of the Photography Committee for several years. She also paved the way to our new Non-for Profit status. Thank you Point for everything! You will be missed both on and off the track!

MVP Jammers
KnockOut Kid
Pinky Swears

MVP Blockers
Angry Penguin
Point n Shoot

Thundercats Lead Scorers
C-Roll 68 pts (21 jams)
KockOut Kid 30pts (9 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 20pts (15 jams)

Ladies of Laceration Lead Scorers
ATTACKACARDIC 70pts (15 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 51pts (10 jams)
Revelyn Sin 49pts (9 jams)

On Saturday October 12th the Long Island Roller Rebels (74) hosted our sister league the Hudson Valley Horrors (159). The Rebels were the first to put points on the board earning lead jammer status for 3 consecutive jams, using a hit it and quit it strategy earning 9 points to HVHs’s 0. In the 5th jam Crashtastic Cate was able to gain lead and put up 20 unanswered points with several natural grand slams, she was assisted by blockers PhDouble D, Breakneck Brie, Account DeeRacula and MVP blocker Berry Boom Boom. This set the tone for the rest of the first period as Long Island jammers C-Roll, Crashtastic Cate, Veloce Villain & team captain ATTACKACARDIC piled on additional points. In jam 14, Horrors team captain Pinky Swears, was able to gain lead and score 13 points. However the damage was done and it would not be enough to catch up to Long Island’s lead. The first half would end in favor of Long Island, 142-20.

During the halftime Hudson Valley regrouped and it showed as they chipped away at Long Island’s lead. In the 4th jam of the second half HVH Jammer Prada G was able to capitalize on Revelyn Sin’s cut track major with a 19 point power jam leaving the score at 43 to 152 Long Island. Penalties had a strong effect on Long Island in the second half with HVH slowly creeping up on the score. In jam 17 HVH jammer Pinky Swears took the jammer line unopposed gaining lead jammer and putting up 17 points for her team, ending the jam 82 to 193 Long Island. In the final jam of the bout Revelyn Sin wore the star for Long Island, but it was Hudson Valley’s jammer Prada G who made it out of the pack first, although she did not obtain Lead jammer status. Revelyn made it out shortly after, scoring 3 points, and playing the clock to call off the jam giving the All Stars one more win for 2014! Final score Long Island 196 Hudson Valley 114.

MVP Jammers
Crashtastic Cate Long Island
Pinky Swears Hudson Valley

MVP Blockers
Berry Boom Boom Long Island
Slam’n Sway Hudson Valley

Long Island Lead Scorers
C-Roll 47 points (11 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 46 points (11 jams)
ATTACKACARDIC 38 points (6 jams)

Hudson Valley Lead Scorers
Pinky Swears 41 points (6 jams)
Prada G 38 points (8 jams)
Tera Jouls 8 points (5 jams)

2013 Warped Tour Coverage

July 13, 2013 Warped Tour, Uniondale, NY

The Long Island Roller Rebels' caravan pulled up bright & early Saturday morning to set up for the 2013 Warped Tour stop at Nassau Coliseum.

We were ready to rock 'n' roll!! Luckily for us, we were behind the Spotify stage, and were able to jam out to EDM and Rock all day long, while sipping from the Monster Energy Drink supplies they had "backstage." (Thanks, Monster! Always supporting the LIRR, even when you don't even know it!). It was a hot, hot day, and although it was forecasted, there was no rain that disturbed us from dancing and skating around all day long!

We met a lot of really great fans!

We even met a crew of lederhosen wearing music lovers! And Revelyn Sin found WALDO! What a crazy day! People were so nice. Lots of our derby sisters were in attendance. Shout outs to Suburbia Roller Derby, Strong Island Derby Revolution, and the Hudson Valley Horrors! Thanks for stopping by and saying hi!

Thanks, too, to the 2013 Vans Warped Tour! You guys were oh so hospital. Check out the Pit Blog, and our special shout out here.

ECDX 2013

Philly hosted the 7th annual East Coast Extravaganza from Friday June 28th through Sunday June 30th 2013. This would be the third time the LIRR All Stars won the lottery to play in WFTDA sanctioned game play at ECDX. The first being a string of firsts for the Rebels as they had their first ever Rebel Sanction win in 2007, at the first ever ECDX, against Steel City. The Rebels made the cut again in 2011 when they played 2 Canadian teams with a close loss against Tri-City and then a BIG win against Hammer City. The Rebels had to wait another 2 years for the opportunity to strut their stuff, in 2013, the best season yet for LIRR, they would be given that chance.

The first bout for the All Stars (92) was against Ithaca (100) early Saturday afternoon. The predictions for this bout were rather mixed since both teams have drastically improved throughout the years. In the first jam Roller Rebels Captain ATTACKACARDIC was able to obtain lead and score a quick 4 points giving the advantage to Long Island early on. In jam 2 Ithaca was able to gain lead and score 3 points calling it off before Veloce Villain could reach the pack. Both teams would continue on like this for the remainder of the bout, with quick two lap, 4 point passes. In jams 15 and 16 Ithaca was able to capitalize on LIRRs penalties and take the lead 61 to 31. However, in jam 22 Long Island's ATTACKACARDIC was able to take advantage of a power play caused by a cut track major on Ithaca's jammer in the previous jam. She would bring LIRR back into the game with a 38point power jam!!! Closing the gap the scoreboard would read 87 to 71, Ithaca. With just under 2 minutes left in the first period Long Island started to taste victory as C-Roll was able to obtain lead and earn 7 points with help from blockers ShadowboxHER, Flossy SmackIntyer and Thin Slice of Violence. After a time out called by Ithaca, leaving only 1 blocker and jammer on the track for Long Island, the period ended in favor or Ithaca, 95-77.

After halftime Long Island was hoping to come back stronger and with less penalties. Things were looking great as Veloce Villain gained lead and her blockers; Berry Boom Boom, Point n Shoot and Breakneck Brie would hold back Ithaca's jammer, HaHa Hatchet, long enough to chip away at Ithaca's lead 96 to 81. In jam 11 Ithaca's jammer scored 4 points before receiving a forearm major leaving C-Roll on the track unopposed to rack up a 10 point power and a star pass to Thin Slice of Violence for an extra 5 points leaving the score at 126-111 in favor of Ithaca. The Rebels continued to chip away at Ithaca's lead. In jam 17 Crashtastic Cate gained lead and scored 4 points changing the lead back to Long Island 130 to 128! In the following jam, Cam Arrow, for Ithaca gained 10 points as Veloce Villain passed the star to Berry Boom Boom who forced her to call it off and another lead change, now in Ithaca's favor 138 to 130! In jam 22, ATTACK approached her scoring pass as Ithaca's jammer received a cut track major giving LI a 13 point power jam and another lead change 143 to 140 Long Island! With less than one minute on the period clock Veloce Villain was able to obtain lead jammer and score 4 points before a track cut major forced her into the penalty box, in turn mobilizing Ithaca's jammer. Gunder N. Lightning would score a 30 point power jam and with one final lead change Long Island 167 to Ithaca 170.

Long Island Lead Scorers
ATTACKACARDIC 100 points (18 jams)
Veloce Villain 37 points (20 jams)
C Roll 19 points (6 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 5 points (6 jams)

You can watch this game again on WFTDA TV Archives.

On the third day of this tournament weekend Long Island (92) took on Scotland's Glasgow Roller Derby (123). This was Glasgow's first appearance in the states and the predictions were in favor of Long Island, although Glasgow had brought the score much closer then anticipated against Columbia (42) the day before. Penalties hurt Long Island in the beginning of the period giving Glasgow an early lead. In jam 5 Long Island's Flossy SmackIntyre suffered a fractured ankle causing the jam to end and the loss of a power blocker in the Rebels rotation. The Rebels would start to rally in honor of Flossy as they put points on the board and kept out of the box. In jam 8 Crashtastic Cate was able to receive the first lead jammer status for Long Island and earn 6 unanswered points. In jam 12 ATTACKACARDIC earned lead while LIRR blockers shut down and recycled Glasgow's jammer back into the pack. ATTACK scored 15 unanswered points for Long Island and changed the lead 29 to 25 Long Island! In the following jam, with both teams only fielding 2 blockers on the track, Glasgow was able to obtain lead and score 4 points on Long Island bringing this match up to a tie. That tie was short lived, however, as Crashtastic Cate scored 4 points on Glasgow in the following jam.. In jam 24 Glasgow' jammer earned lead, however ATTACKACARDIC showed impressive blocking as she was able to block her enough for veteran blocker, Breakneck Brie, to swallow her back into the pack. This caused Glasgow to call the jam early leaving both teams scoreless. In the last jam of the first period Glasgow earned lead jammer but was sent to the penalty box after a strong hit by Angry Penguin. The Rebel blockers dropped back to cause a cut track major, giving Long Island the power jam they were looking for. Crashtastic Cate took the line unopposed and put up 15 points, leaving the first half with another lead change 64 –60 Long Island!

In the second half of this thrilling bout Long Island came back strong as ATTACKACARDIC obtained the first lead jam of the half, scored a quick 4 points and called it off. In jam 11 Glasgow' jammer would receive lead and earn 10 points before acquiring a back block leaving Crashtastic Cate on the track for a 15 point power jam! Just before the jam ended Crashtastic Cate received a track cut major which allowed Glasgow to take the jammer line in the following jam unopposed. Glasgow's jammer had trouble making her initial pass through Long Island's defense and racked up a major track cut. Crashtastic Cate was released from the penalty box and scored 14 points for Long Island keeping them in the lead 115-99. In jam 13 Long Island lost another power blocker in their rotation as Amaretto Sourpuss picked up her 6th and 7th majors, forcing her expulsion from the bout. Rebel jammer Veloce Villain would rally in the following jam with help from Angry Penguin, Chest Blockwell and ShadowboxHER forcing a track cut on Glasgow's jammer giving Villain an unanswered 20 points furthering Long Island's lead135-88! In the following jam ATTACKACARDIC would receive a multi-player block and head to the box giving Glasgow the opportunity to rack up 14 points. ATTACK was released from the box and was able to grab a quick 2 points before the jam ended. In jam 15 Crashtastic Cate had trouble with Glasgow's defense as their jammer would rack up 23 unanswered points and brought this bout to a nail biting one point difference 136 to 137 Long Island! With only 2 blockers on the track, Glasgow earned lead and forced another lead change 148-141. In jam 10 we would see another star pass for Long Island as Veloce Villain passed the star to Thin Slice of Violence who would score 5 points for Long Island. With only 9 seconds left on the period clock and the score in Glasgow's favor it came down to the last jam. Team captain, ATTACKACARDIC would gain lead and put up 4 unanswered points giving Long Island the WIN! Final Score Long Island 154 Glasgow 153

Long Island Lead Scorers
Crashtastic Cate 58 Points (10 jams)
Veloce Villain 46 points (17 jams)
ATTACKACARDIC 45 points (21 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 5 points (1 jam)

You can watch this game again on WFTDA TV Archives.

June 2013

On June 8th The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers hosted WFTDA Apprentice league, The New Jersey Roller Derby All Stars. The Bruisers were hungry for their first win of 2013 and they showed it. In the first jam NJRD jammer, Miss USA Hole, was able to get lead, but the Bruisers' Revelyn Sin was able to grab 3 points to NJRD's 1. At the end of the jam Revlyn Sin received a back block, which allowed NJRD to earn lead jammer in the next jam and 19 points. The Bruisers made strong walls lead by team captains Ermahgerd! and Femme&M which would hold back the NJRD jammers and help the Bruisers to obtain lead for the next 4 consecutive jams, bringing the score closer to NJRD's lead 28 to 21. The game would remain close with both teams rotating lead jammer status, playing smart offense, scoring a few points then calling the jam off before the opposing jammer had a chance to score. Both team's blockers would continue to build strong defensive walls and recycle jammers to the back of the pack. The first half would end in favor or NJRD 77 to 42.

In the second half of this very close bout both teams would alternate earning lead jammer status and purposefully call off the jam preventing the other team from scoring. In jams 11 and 13 NJRD were able to put up big points on the board due to penalties from the Bruisers blockers leaving the score in favor of NJRD 115 to 61. In jam 14, Bruisers' Revelyn Sin, was able to capitalize on Slam Hathaway's back block and score 20 points before calling it off. Slam was still in the penalty box as Crashtastic Cate took the jammer line in the following jam. Crash would earn lead jammer and score 17 points for the Bruisers bringing them back into the bout with a score of 98 to 115. At the very end of the jam Crashtastic Cate suffered an injury causing her to sit out the rest of the game, this left the Bruisers short a jammer in their rotation. In jam 18 Revelyn Sin started the jam in the box from a penalty she received in the previous jam leaving NJRD's Gunz to take the line unopposed. Gunz gained lead and earned 10 points, however on her consecutive scoring pass she received a back block sending her to the box. This would release Revelyn Sin who would earn 15 points before the jam clock ran out closing the gap even further for the Bruisers! In jam 23 NJRD's Miss USA Hole would get sent to the box for a back block giving Revelyn Sin yet another power jam. Revelyn put up an unanswered 20 points bringing this into a nail-biting end with the score139 to 135 in favor of NJRD! With less than one minute left on the period clock and a jammer short on the rotation, blocker Flossy SmackIntyre, took the jammer line. Flossy would score 4 points before getting a track cut sending her to the box and releasing Miss USA Hole to score 20 points to finish this bout in favor of NJRD. Final score Rock-a-Betty Bruisers 139 New Jersey Roller Derby 159

(Insert MVP Revel)

MVP Jammers
Rock-a-Betty Bruisers Revelyn Sin
New Jersey Roller Derby Miss USA Hole

MVP Blockers
Rock-a-Betty Bruisers Nautical Vile
New Jersey Roller Derby Slam Hathaway

Bruisers Lead Scorers
Revelyn Sin 89 points (19 jams) Crashtastic Cate 34 points (12 jams) Gertie Bomb 8 points (7 jams)

New Jersey Lead Scorers
Miss USA Hole 45 points (18 jams)
Gunz 35 points (12 jams)

May 19th 2013

On Sunday May 19th Long Island Roller Rebel All Stars (92) hosted Dominion Derby Girls (76) in an early afternoon hangover bout. These teams have met three times in the past, with Long Island going 0 for 3 against the ladies from Virginia Beach. The LIRR All Stars took the lead in the first jam, with ATTACKACARDIC scoring five points before calling it off. She was followed by Veloce Villain putting up 13 unanswered points as LIRR blockers, Angry Penguin, Berry Boom Boom, Amaretto Sourpuss and Breakneck Brie held a fierce wall and continuously recycled Dominion's jammer to the back of the pack. In jam 5 ATTACKACARDIC pushed Long Island even farther into the lead with a 25 point power jam taking advantage of Buffalo Bone Crusher's track cut major leaving the score 25 to 5 in favor of Long Island. In Jam 10 Veloce Villain gained lead jammer, but was sent to the box for a major track cut giving Dominion's Buffalo Bone Crusher a 19 point power jam helping Dominion to catch up to Long Island 30 to 57. In jam 14 blockers Berry Boom Boom, Point n Shoot, Amaretto Sourpuss and Chest Blockwell were very effective in keeping Dominion's jammer behind them with excellent pack work and great recycling. This assisted ATTACKACARDIC in a new personal record of 35 points in one jam pushing Long Island even further into the lead 115 to 31!! Long Island's defense would keep Dominion scoreless for the remainder of the first half. The period ended with the score in favor of LI, 186 to 34.

When the second half started Long Island came back just as strong keeping Dominion scoreless for four consecutive jams. In jam 5 of the second half Veloce Villain would score a 30point power jam capitalizing on jammer Mya HueJass' track cut. Mya would start the next jam in the penalty box leaving C Roll alone on the jammer line to score 23 points. In the next few jams both teams would score as little as 4 points and strategically calling the jam off before the other jammer would hit the pack. Starting jam 13 Veloce Villain would gain lead jammer and gain a 24 point unanswered power jam to keep Long Island's comfortable lead 287 to 68. In jam 15 Crashtastic Cate would lose lead jammer and receive a back block major as Dominion's Rita Racy Reckless would put up a 20 point power jam. Things were starting to look up for Dominion when penalties would start to hurt Long Island. In jam 17 LI had 3 blockers in the penalty box, 2 sitting and 1 standing as C Roll took the jammer line. The lone blocker on the track, Amaretto Sourpuss, would earn her MVP blocker status holding back Duchess America all by herself as C Roll gained lead and scored 2 points before calling off the jam. In the last jam ATTACKACARDIC took the line and gained lead while her blockers kept Buffalo Bone Crusher in the back of the pack. ATTACKACARDIC scored 10 points for Long Island then called the jam as the period clock ran out giving Long Island their first victory against Dominion Derby Girls!!! Final Long Island 344 Dominion 103

MVP Jammers
Dominion - Rita Racy Reckless

MVP Blockers
Long Island - Amaretto Sourpuss
Dominion - Mya HueJass

Long Island Lead Scorers:
Veloce Villain 114 points (12 jams)
ATTACKACARDIC 108 points (11 jams)
C Roll 92 points (6 jams)

Dominion Lead Scorers:
Rita Racy Reckless 34 points (9 jams)
Buffalo Bone Crusher 32 points (10 jams)
Mya HueJass 28 points (11 jams)

May 11th 2013

On May 11th The Long Island Roller Rebels (93) hosted The Rhode Island Riveters (91). Last year Long Island traveled up to Providence and proved to be the biggest upset of the weekend, by winning, 148-120. This season Long Island's All Stars have had two losses and were looking for a W. The first jam did not fair well for the All Stars as ATTACKACARDIC was sent to the box for a cut track major, giving the Riveters a power play early on in the bout. For the next 3 consecutive jams the Riveters would be held scoreless. In jam 4 Rhode Island's Hit and Run Paulene was able to take advantage of ATTACKACARDIC's penalty and score 23 points for her team, taking the lead back to Rhode Island 34 to 17. Long Island's jammers, Crashtastic Cate, Veloce Villain, Attacacardic and C-Roll chipped away at the score throughout the rest of the period. In the last jam of the first period, ATTACKACARDIC took the line gaining lead jammer as her blockers Veloce Villain, Angry Penguin, Berry Boom Boom and Amaretto Sourpuss were able to hold back Rhode Island keeping them scoreless as she would put up 25 points pushing Long Island further in the lead, ending the period 88 to 55 in favor of Long Island.

In the second half of the bout Long Island kept the momentum rolling as MVP Blocker Breakneck Brie would hold tight walls with teammates Amaretto Sourpuss, Berry Boom Boom and team Captain Angry Penguin. By the sixth jam of the half Veloce Villain would take advantage of Buzz AllDread's back block major and break a personal record with a 32 point jam!!! This pushed Long Island even further into the lead 129 to 67! Long Island kept a very strong lead until jam 16 when Buzz AllDread would score 15pts on a power jam. It looked like Rhode Island would start to rally, but the score was still in favor of Long Island 148 to 100. In the next two jams, LI jammers, Crashtastic Cate and Veloce Villain felt the heat and would push on with a combined 33 point total distancing themselves in the lead 184 to 108. The last jam of the night C-Roll and Buzz AllDread took the jammer line. Buzz would gain lead jammer status and gain 9 points before getting a track cut major leaving C Roll to put up 22 points for Long Island as her teammates cheered her on giving Long Island their first win of 2013!!

Final Long Island 214 Rhode Island 121

Jammer MVPs:
Long Island - Attackacardic
Rhode Island - Buzz AllDread

Blocker MVPs
Long Island - Breakneck Brie
Rhode Island - Jetta Von Diesel

Long Island's Leading Scorers:
Veloce Villain 92 points (16 jams)
Attackacardic 64 points (18 jams)
C Roll 38 points (11 jams)
Crastastic Cate 20 points (9 jams)

Rhode Island's Leading Scorers:
Hit and Run Paulene 49 points (13 jams)
Buzz AllDread 28 points (13 jams)
Milla Lowlife 28 points (15 jams)
Elsie YaLater 13 points (7 jams)

April 13

On April 13th our Rock-A-Betty Bruisers hosted Ithaca's Blue Stockings. Revelyn Sin was the first jammer to take the line for the Bruisers gaining lead jammer status however with Ithaca's Felonious Fox right behind her, she strategically called off the jam just after scoring 2 points. By the forth jam, things looked grim for our Bruisers as Ithaca took the lead, 19 to 3. In jam five Bruiser team captain, Dropkick Dolly, played some sweet offense by helping jammer Ermahgerd! to obtain 30 pts in one jam! Ermahgerd! forced a lead change back to the Bruisers with a score of 39 to 26. In jam 8 Bad A$$ Nat took the jammer line for the Bruisers and gained 3 points while Ithaca's Bee Bee Gun gained 4 points leaving the score tied at 42. Ithaca would then pull ahead with two big jams from Felonious Fox & Valerie Valkyrie leaving the score in Ithaca's favor 74 to 47. The Bruisers struggled for the remainder of the half leaving the score 120 to 60 in favor of Ithaca.

Starting the second half things were starting to look up for the Bruisers. Jammers Ermahgerd!, Revelyn Sin & PhDD racked up back to back points for Long Island catching up with a score of 76 to 132. Unfortunately in jam 30 the Bruisers failed to field a jammer giving Ithaca an opportunity to score 15 unanswered points. During jams 11,12 and 13 the Bruisers began to rally keeping Ithaca scoreless. Jammer Bad A$$ Nat had a rally of her own putting up two big jams, but still the Bruiser's fell short. Final Rock-A-Betty Bruisers 115 Ithaca's Blue Stockings 190.

MVP Jammer Ermahgerd!
MVP Blocker Dropkick Dolly

Bruisers Leading Scorers Ermagerd! 49 points (10 jams)
Bad A$$ Nat 30 points (6 jams)
Revelyn Sin 25 points (15 jams)

Blue Stocking Leading Scorers
Felonious Fox 55 points (10 jams)
Sugar Blitz 50 points (11 jams)
Valerie Valkyrie 35 points (8 jams)

Saturday March 9th was the second bout of the season for the Long Island Roller Rebels, but the first sanctioned bout of 2013. This was an exciting match up between the LIRR All Stars (17E) and the Garden State Roller Girls Ironbound Maidens (27E). In the first jam GSR's Renegade Ruby was able to obtain lead jammer, but was held back by great recycling and walls formed by veteran Rebel blockers, ShadowboxHer, Amaretto Sourpuss, Angry Penguin and Betty or Not. With a lightning fast ATTACKACARDIC hot on her trail, Ruby was forced to call off the jam early leaving her scoreless. In the second jam C-Roll was able to rack up the first 3 points for Long Island. In the following jam ATTACKACARDIC gained lead jammer and put up a whopping 13 points, her run was cut short when she was sent to the penalty box for a major track cut giving Garden State a power jam. Renegade Ruby was limited to only 5 points while ATTACK served her time in the box, leaving the score at 16 to 5 in favor of Long Island. AKA Meme then took the jammer line for GSR obtaining lead jammer and 13 points bringing this bout to only a 3point difference. Garden State would then rally to put points on the board, until jam 8 when Renegade Ruby would receive a major track cut loosing lead jammer status and sending her to the box. LIRR All Star C-Roll was able to capatilize on the power play with a 25 point jam of her own bringing the hometown heroes back into the game and once again changing the lead back to Long Island 46 to 40. Only 2 jams later Renegade Ruby would acquire 25 points changing the lead back to Garden State. Even with a 19point power jam by Rebel rookie Thin Slice of Violence, Garden State would keep the lead for the remainder of the period, but not by much. At the end of the first period the score was 85 to 96 in favor of Garden State.

At the beginning of the second half our Long Island All Stars got their second wind and we would see a repeat of the first jam from the first half. Even though Garden State Renegade Ruby obtained lead jammer, ATTACKACARDIC was hot on her heels forcing her to call the jam off leaving both teams scoreless. In the following jam AKA Meme lost lead jammer and was sent to the penalty box giving C-Roll the opportunity to score 19 points and once again changing the lead 104 to 100 in favor of Long Island! With the score still close and several lead changes, Long Island sent out a one-two punch when ATTACKACARDIC took the jammer line unopposed obtaining lead jammer and earning 25 points! This was followed by Crashtastic Cate donning the jammer star and putting up 14 points for Long Island pushing them further into the lead 153 to 126! It came down to the last jam to see who would win this battle with the score close at 171 to 166 in favor of Long Island. ATTACKACARDIC would join Lixxie Stixx on the jammer line, it looked good for Long Island when ATTACKACARDIC gained lead jammer and grabbed 4 points, unfortunately ATTACK would receive a major track cut leaving Lixxie Stixx unopposed to gain 12 points for her team changing the lead to Garden State Rollergirls. With no time outs left for Long Island, GSR would go on to win the bout with a final score of Long Island 175 to 178 Garden State Rollergirls.

MVPS Long Island ATTACKACARDIC Garden State Renegade Ruby

Long Island Leading Scorers
ATTACKACARDIC 66 points (20 jams)
C-Roll 56 points (12 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 26 points (4 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 19 points (9 jams)
Amaretto Sourpuss 8 points (2 jams)

Garden State Leading Scorers
Renegade Ruby 98 points (18 jams)
AKA Meme 46 points (17 jams)
Gut-Her Punk 19 points (7 jams)
Lixxie Stixx 12 points (2 jams)

February 2013

On February 9th Long Island Roller Rebels dug out of the snow left over from Nemo to kick off the first bout of the 2013 season with The Return of the Home Teams! Both teams had some old and some new faces on their rosters. Starting with The Wicked Wheelers roster: Betty or Not, Captain Morgan, Crashtastic Cate, Dropkick Dolly, Ermahgerd!, Femme&M, Hardcory, Nautical Vile, PhDoubleD & Veloce Villain lead by Captains Amaretto Soupuss & TNTeeny. The Ladies of Laceration's line up Account DeeRacula, ArcHER Back, ATTACKACARDIC, Bad A$$ Nat, Point N Shoot, Revelyn Sin, ShadowboxHER, Thin Slice of Violence & Wushu Sugar lead by Captains Breakneck Brie & Flossy SmackIntyre. Both teams have not met on the track since 2010 when The Ladies upset The Wheelers to advance to the 2010 championships. The Wheelers wanted to reestablish there name on the track, however the Ladies were the first to put points on the board with 4 points by ATTACKACARDIC! The Ladies would keep the lead until jam 11. Veloce Villain would take the jammer line unopposed and put up a 19 point jam placing the Wheelers in the lead by one point 36 to 35. By jam 15 Thin Slice of Violence would have an 11 point power jam to keep the Ladies in the game 49 to 54 in favor of the Wheelers. The following jam Veloce Villain would help give her team a comfortable lead with an amazing 25 point jam! The Wheelers had great defensive walls effectively shutting out the Ladies' jammers lead by captains TNTeeny & Amaretto Sourpuss. By the end of the first half it did not look good for The Ladies of Laceration with a score 92 to 54 in favor of the Wheelers.

In the beginning of the second period the Ladies regrouped and came out with strong walls by their blockers as ATTACKACARDIC would put up a 19 point power jam. In jam 12, rookie jammer Revelyn Sin, had an 18 point power jam with a lead change 112 to 105 in favor of the Ladies. The game returned into a nail bitter with the score so close it was hard to predict a winner. However by jam 21 The Wheelers took a loss with power blocker Amaretto Sourpuss taking her 7th trip to the penalty box resulting in her being expelled from the game. This upset the Wheeler's manager Jefferee causing him to follow Sourpuss to the locker room leaving the Wheelers with one manager Glittersarus Rex. The Wheelers kept strong putting up a fight with the score still close 139 to 113 Ladies. It came down to the final jam with Veloce Villain & Attackacardic taking the jammer line. ATTACK was able to gain lead jammer status and ran the period clock out while both jammers racking up an even 12 points for each team leaving the final score 151 to 125, Ladies Win!

Wheelers MVPs
Blocker Amaretto Sourpuss
Jammer Crashtastic Cate

Ladies MVPs
Blocker Flossy SmackIntyer
Jammer Revelyn Sin

Ladies Lead Scorers
Attackacardic 60 points (15 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 32 points (10 jams)
Revelyn Sin 31 Points (10 jams)

Wheelers Lead Scorers
Veloce Villain 76 points (17 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 25 points (15 jams)

December 2012

On Saturday December 8th the Long Island Roller Rebels hosted their 8th annual Pink & Black Holiday Awards Party to celebrate the end of the 2012 season. The Rebels had a lot to celebrate with the All Stars undefeated home season, our newer skaters finishing their first season and the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers going 6-2 for the season!

In honor of the first night of Chanukah NSO Barknuckle Bill started off the evening with presents to all league members.

Awards were announced and handed out by our very own announcer CAPS LOCK, and were made by our new Secretary, TNTeeny!

League Awards:
Most Improved: Dropkick Dolly
Unsung Hero: BarKnuckle Bill
Best Ass: Tie! Bad A$$ Nat & Flossy SmackIntyer
Best in Stripes: Boothill Billy
Most Official Official: Fantasmic

Rock-a-Betty Bruisers:
Fan Favorite: Berry Boom Boom
Most Valuable Blocker: Anna Tramp
Most Valuable Pivot: Berry Boom Boom
Most Valuable Jammer: Crashtastic Cate
Best Wall: TNTeeny, Flossy SmackIntyer, Spork Chop & Berry Boom Boom

All Stars:
Fan Favorite: HardCory
Most Valuable Blocker: Angry Penguin
Most Valuable Track Leader: ShadowboxHer
Most Valuable Jammer: Veloce Villain
Best Wall: Amaretto Sourpuss, Angry Penguin, ShadowboxHer & Betty or Not

The Bruisers showed appreciation to their managers Veloce Villain, Captain Morgan, Jefferee & Harms Way with presents.

The All Stars also had gifts of appreciation for their managers Jefferee, Captain Morgan, Lady Florence Fightinggal', T-Stop Tornado & Jonathan Rockey.

Congratulations Rebels on another Fantastic Season! We cannot wait for what 2013 has to bring!

October 2012

On October 13th the Long Island Roller Rebels (21E) hosted their last sanctioned bout for the 2012 season welcoming the Rocktown Rollers (34E) from Harrisonburg, VA. The Rebels kept Rocktown scoreless for the first 4 consecutive jams. A 20pt power jam by C-Roll in the 4th jam, paved the way for the Rebels as the score landed at 36 to 0 in favor of the Rebels. In jam number five Rocktown's Afro-Die-T was able to obtain lead, but with Veloce Villain hot on her heels, Afro-Die-T was forced to call off the jam early only earning 1 point. Rocktown would not be able to score any points for 6 more jams thanks to the Rebels defensive tight walls and recycling. In jam seventeen of the first period things started to look up for Rocktown, as the Rebels jammer, C-Roll, started in the penalty box for racking up her 4th minor. Rocktown was not able to capitalize on there advantage finishing the half 146-6.

Starting the second half Rocktown was able to score 3 points, however strong pack work by Hardcory, Florence Fighting Gal, Breakneck Brie & ShadowboxHer allowed Celtic Thunder to get lead and rack up an impressive 30 point jam for Long Island! The Roller Rebels would maintain consistent and strong defense walls, and penalties by Rocktown's jammers would eventually keep Rocktown virtually scoreless with a final score of 343 to 37 in favor of the hometown heroes. The Rebels have remained undefeated at home for the entirety of the 2012 season!

Rebel's MVP Betty or Not #33

Leading Scorers
Celtic Thunder 91 points (9 jams)
C-Roll 88 points (12 jams)
Sweets McBacon 63 points (4 jams)
Miss Tea Maven 57 points (7 jams)
Veloce Villain 44 points (8 jams)

Leading Blockers
Amaretto Sourpuss 19 jams (+70.7)
ShadowboxHer 22 jams (+ 37.7)
Angry Penguin 18 jams (+28.7)
Breakneck Brie 17 jams (+21.7)

The second half of this double header was a close match up between The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers and Suburbia Roller Derby's Backyard Bullies. Bruiser's Roxanadu drew first blood by putting up 3 pts on the board. During the next three jams however Suburbia's defense would keep the Bruisers scoreless. In the 4th and 5th jams the Bruiser's jammers, Roxanadu & Crashtastic Cate, would put up two big unanswered jams thanks to help from strong defensive walls by team captain Spork Chop, Dropkick Dolly, Bad Ass Nat & Flossy SmackIntyre.

The Bruisers would take the lead 40 to 23 halfway through the first period. The Bruisers held a comfortable lead until Suburbia had two big jams from Leggy Fleming bringing the game to a close 15 point score differential. With one jam left in the first half Roxanadu would take advantage of a power jam, while Suburbia's jammer sat in the box for a cutting major. Roxanadu would go on to score 14 points ending the first half 101 to 72.

Going into the second half Suburbia's Leggy Fleming would start the period with a 20point power jam. Suburbia's defense would hold the Bruiser's jammers from making their initial pass for the next 3 jams bringing the score to a 4point difference. The Bruisers defense regained strength and kept Suburbia scoreless for the next five jams to hold onto the lead. The Bruisers would then see big jams from Thin Slice of Violence, Kissing Kate Brawler and Roxanadu to further the lead, but not by much. This nail biting game came down to Crashtastic Cate taking the jammer line unopposed with less than one minute on the clock. Crash earned lead jammer status and racked up a 28 point power jam to end this game in favor of The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers 184 to 137.

Rock-a-Betty Bruisers MVP Crashtastic Cate #13


Leading Scorers:
Roxanadu 67 points (12 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 53 points (12 jams)
Thin Slice of Violence 43 points (12 jams)

Leading Blockers:
Dropkick Dolly 17 jams (+53.6)
Betty or Not 9 jams (+26.6)
Berry Boom Boom 27 jams (+11.6)

September 2012

On September 22nd the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers headed south to the city that’s  ”Always Turned On” (Atlantic City) to seek revenge on the Boardwalk Brawlers. Back in May, the Brawler’s beat the Bruiser’s with a final score of 214 to 96 on LI. The Bruisers traveled light with a roster of only 11 and lost Lil E Von Schtupp early in the first period due to injury. This did not stop the Bruiser’s from scoring the first points of the night or Crashtastic Cate with an amazing 24 point jam.  The Bruiser’s defense was strong and kept the Brawlers scoreless for 6 straight jams.  The Brawlers would not put points on the board until jam 7 when Out-Break Meggo had a 12 point jam and Killer Tarantula had a 13 point jam bringing the game close, 52 to 25 in favor of Long Island. The Bruisers struck back with 3 huge jams by Miss Tea Maven with a 25, 29 and then a 30 point jam! Ending the first half 172 to 44 in favor for the Bruisers! Going into the second half the Bruisers lost another blocker, Captain Morgan, due to a knee injury. This inspired the shorthanded Bruisers to work harder and it showed with tight walls lead by team Captains Spork Chop & Berry Boom Boom keeping the Boardwalk Brawlers scoreless for the next four consecutive jams.  Sweets McBacon added more points to the scoreboard for the Bruisers with a big 20 point jam furthering the Bruiser’s lead, 216 to 49. The Boardwalk Brawlers would not see another big jam until jam 19 when Out-Break Meggo would score 16 points.  In the following jam Crashtastic Cate would answer her call with a 24 point power jam of her own putting the Bruisers even further in the lead. By the end of the second half the Bruiser’s claimed revenge with a final score of 292-87.

MVP Crashtastic Cate

Lead Scorers
Miss Tea Maven 94 points (12 jams)
Crashtastic Cate 88 points (14 jams)
Sweets McBacon 54 Points (11 jams)

September 2012

On September 9th the Long Island Roller Rebels All Stars (21E) traveled to Harrisburg, PA, hometown to our very own Sweets McBacon, to take on the H.A.R.D. Nuclear Knockouts (33E). Long Island took the lead early on and would never look back thanks to jammers Veloce Villain, C-Roll, also coming back from her honeymoon, (CONGRATULATIONS!) Miss Tea Maven, and an amazing 40 point jam by Celtic Thunder! Strong walls were held by team Captains, ShadowboxHER and Amaretto Sourpuss and the LIRR All Stars welcomed the newest chartered member #23 Berry Boom Boom.

During the second period jammers became blockers and 3 blockers, Hardcory, Chest Blockwell and Lady Florence Fightin' Gal would get a chance to wear the star AND score points for the All Stars!

Final score All Stars 366 @ H.A.R.D. Nuclear Knockouts 44

August 2012

On August 4th the Long Island Roller Rebels All Stars (21E) were given a 40% chance to win its battle against the Rhode Island Riveters (17E) according to In the first period it appeared as if the Riveters were going to win this bout maintaining the lead by the 14th jam. It was not until the 15th jam when C-Roll changed the direction of this bout with a 16 point power jam giving the lead to Long Island, 45 over Rhode Island's 34. That jam pushed the LIRR All Stars ahead and they would not look back as jammers, Veloce Villain, Miss Tea Maven & Celtic Thunder would than keep Long Island in the lead for the rest of the night. The LIRR defense had great recycling and strong walls which would keep the Riveters jammers held off just long enough for LI to come out on top 148-120. MVPs for Long Island were Veloce Villain and Miss Tea Maven.

Leading Long Island Scorers
Celtic Thunder 43 points (13 jams)
Veloce Villain 37 points (13 jams)
Miss Tea Maven 31 points (16 jams)
C Roll 29 points (7 jams)

Leading Long Island Blockers

ShadowboxHer 26 jams (+9)
Amaretto Sourpuss 25 jams (-9)
Angry Penguin 25 jams (+35)
Betty or Not 23 jams (+36)
Breakneck Brie 20 jams (+44)
Hardcory 18 jams (-30)
Rockey 15 jams (-20)
Point N Shoot 13 jams (-6)
Florence Fightin' Gal 12 jams (+46)

June 2012

The Long Island Roller Rebels' 2012 season is really heating up!

As temperatures continued to climb, on June 9th the Roller Rebels hosted their last home double-header until September, with the All-Stars facing off with Vermont's Green Mountain Derby Dames. Showing off the scrum start strategies that they perfected throughout the Spring, the All-Stars took a 198-103 victory over the Vermonters.

The Pair O' Dice City Rollers, a new league from Western Mass. who have played the Bruisers in both home and away scrimmages this season, filled out the program. The Bruisers took an impressive 262-115 victory over the rookie league, who have shown impressive athleticism and sportswomanship throughout the season. It won't be long before they are a force to be reckoned with, and the Bruisers will be ready!

With the summer in full swing, LIRR headed down to the 3-day derby bonanza/non-stop pool party that was East Coast Derby Extravaganza 2012, hosted by Philly Roller Girls in Feasterville, PA (the sixth ECDX for LIRR's founder and president, Captain Morgan, and beloved mascot Bane Ana!). While the Roller Rebels didn't participate in any WFTDA sanctioned bouts this year, the Bruisers won a lottery for a challenge bout against a regional all-star team, the Carolina Hurticanes. The Bruisers put up a valiant effort and fought until the very last whistle, but were ultimately outmatched. Despite the loss, it was a great weekend for Long Island's finest, as skaters from both the All-Stars and the Bruisers played in the many fun-themed challenge bouts such as Sasquatch vs. Chupacabras, South Paws vs. Right Ons, and Riedell vs. Antik. Spork Chop, Crashtastic Cait, Bad As* Nat, and Sweets McBacon were all featured in challenge bouts, and Veloce Villain was named MVP of Pancakes in the Waffles vs. Pancakes challenge.

The Roller Rebels barely had time to unpack their bags before it was back to the road for a showdown on June 30th with LIRR's "derby wife" league, the Hudson Valley Horrors in Hyde Park. Managed by longtime Roller Rebels Roxie Heartless and Rubie Redrum and fresh off their first WFTDA-sanctioned win, the Horrors were hoping for an upset against their friends and derby mentors. Although the Horrors know LIRR's playing style very well (counting former Roller Rebel Whiskey Lullabye among their ranks), the All-Stars still had a few surprises up their sleeves. The All-Stars showed great strategic blocking, led by MVP Breakneck Brie. The powerhouse jamming duo of Veloce Villain and Celtic Thunder propelled the All-Stars to a 228-75 win.

Just when Long Island fans thought the night couldn't get any better, the Bruisers took a stunning 334-72 victory over the HVH zomBsquad. Blockers literally bounced off double-threat Roxanadu as she muscled her way through the pack, and Bruiser MVP Attackacardic alone scored over 100 points, making Roller Rebels history. Niña Mala and Berry Boom Boom dominated on the track, decimating the zomB hordes.

The Roller Rebels are on fire and it's only going to get hotter! Pack up your cowbells and join us when the All-Stars take a trip to welcome the Hellions of Troy to the WFTDA Apprentice program in true Roller Rebels style! The action takes place July 21st at the Hellions' Thunderdome in Schenectady. The Roller Rebels home season will resume September 1st, when leagues from all corners of New York will come together for the third annual Empire Skate Showdown.

May 2012

First, the All-Stars headed to Ohio for a pair of bouts on May 5th and 6th against teams from WFTDA's North Central region. Unfortunately, it was tough breaks for the All-Stars who went 0-2 in their challenges against NEO Roller Derby (Akron) (112-145) and Burning River Rollergirls (Cleveland) (86-242).

Spurred on by the defeats in Ohio, the All-Stars came home ready to make some Mothers' Day Mayhem and took on the River City Rollergirls (Richmond, VA) on May 12th in one of the most anticipated matchups of the season. The All-Stars motivation was rewarded by a 155-129 win over the higher-ranked RCR (17E), which may give Long Island a bump up in the WFTDA 2nd Quarter Rankings.

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers took the track for the second half of the Mother's Day Mayhem double-header, skating against Shore Points Roller Derby's Boardwalk Brawlers. Led by founder and captain Outbreak Meggo, Shore Points proved that their roster has gelled since they last faced off with the Bruisers in 2011. In spite of some injuries to key players, they delivered a humbling 214-96 defeat. The Bruisers are looking forward to payback when they travel to Shore Points for a rematch on September 22.

April 2012

The LIRR All-Stars scored an upset win over Les Sexpos, the travel "B-team" for Montreal Roller Derby's one of the top leagues in the WFTDA Eastern Region. They took home the win in a tight 164-139. Les Sexpos came to the States strongly favored to win over the Roller Rebels, who were one of the first teams to take on MTLRD's New Skids on the Block when they took the WFTDA by storm in 2009. What they got instead was a focused crop of All-Stars who have been logging extra practice time and working cutting-edge strategies and plays with an eye towards moving up in the Eastern Region rankings.

The bout started with both teams evenly paced, and the lead changed several times until Celtic Thunder delivered the first 20+ point jam of the evening. Even without crowd favorite C-Roll, who was out with an injury, the Roller Rebel jammer rotation dominated. New All-Star Veloce Villain, in her second season with the league, put an incredible 91 points on the board, followed by Celtic with 51. The All-Stars focus on pack work paid off, led by ShadowboxHer and Point N Shoot. Even though Les Sexpos achieved lead jammer in more jams, the All-Stars held them back and had a 30-point lead by halftime.

Les Sexpos didn't make it easy, coming back hard in the second period with impressive offensive jamming by Bikini Skills and careful pack control by pivot Assassinista. They actually managed to pick up the pace and outscored the All-Stars for the second half, but they weren't able to chip away at the lead from the first period. Unfortunately, Florence Fightin' Gal, another second-year player who has quickly become one of the most versatile members of the All-Stars, was taken off the track with an injury in the last few seconds of the bout and won't be back on the roster for several weeks. We wish her derby love and speedy healing!

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers also took home a satisfying win over the Connecticut Roller Girls' Yankee Brutals, 226-61.

The Bruisers showed off their bench of diverse and promising jammers, including ATTACKACARDIC, who wows the crowd with her moves from her days as a competitive aggressive skater, and Roxanadu, whose extensive hockey background makes her a double-threat on the track. Debuting with tough blocking were rookie Flossy Smackintyre and Girl Gone Wilder, a recent transfer to LIRR from Burning River Rollergirls. Despite some setbacks earlier in the season, the squad has been working on their strategy, and are looking promising as we head towards the summer.

March 2012

The Long Island Roller Rebels started their interleague season on a high note, hosting recent WFTDA admits Roc City Roller Derby (Rochester, NY) for a St. Patrick's Day-themed double-header on March 10.

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers, mostly rookies with a few familiar faces, took on the Roc City B-Sides. The Bruisers started off using the defensive strategies that took them to an undefeated first season in 2011. While they managed to hold back the B-Sides jammers, their own jammers took a beating from the heavy opposing offense. Roxanadu and Attackacardic started in heavy rotation, and managed to fight through the maelstrom to pick up a few points per jam. By the half, though, the B-Sides were ahead 71 to 35.

After the half, the Bruisers switched to a more offensive strategy, breaking up walls to get their own jammer through. Blockers Berry Boom Boom and TNTeeny were a brick wall together, and managed to hold the B-Sides to several scoreless jams. But in the end, even though they all played their hearts out, the Bruisers were unable to close the gap. The squad took their first loss in the team's history, 91-164.

The feature event of the evening was the Rebel All-Stars vs. the Roc City Roc Stars. While new to WFTDA, Roc City are four-season veterans of the sport and came just shy of eliminating Gotham Girls Roller Derby's Wall Street Traitors at the 2011 Empire Skate Showdown. But the All-Stars were well-prepared, with former Bruisers ShadowboxHer, Veloce Villain, and Lady Florence Fightin' Gal joining their ranks.

The All-Stars' long hours of practice showed, and their pack timing totally shut out the Roc Stars for over half of the jams in the first half. Rookie All-Star Angry Penguin was a force to be reckoned with, often taking the front of the pack and crushing the opposing jammer's hope of breaking the pack. The All-Stars went into the halftime with a comfortable lead of 69-34.

The second period saw a determined comeback from Roc City, with impressive jamming from their captain, Kell'd on Impact. What had seemed like a sure thing for the All-Stars now looked like it was going to slip away as the lead changed with mere minutes left on the clock. But the All-Stars fought until the very last whistle and it paid off. Channeling the Luck of the Irish in one of the most heart-stopping moments in Roller Rebel history, Celtic Thunder took the All-Stars from a tied game to a 114-110 win in the final jam, putting her at a total of 55 points for the bout.

With continued hard work, and a little bit of that luck, the Long Island Roller Rebels will have a great Spring ahead of them. Don't miss the next home double-header on April 14, when the All-Stars take on Montreal Roller Derby's Les Sexpos, and the Bruisers play Connecticut Roller Girls' Yankee Brutals.

February 2012

The Long Island Roller Rebels kicked off their sixth season with the Valentine's Day Massacre, a double-header with the New York Shock Exchange's home teams, the Coney Island Freak Show vs. The Union Squares. The women's teams were Pink vs. Black, made up of a mix of familiar faces and a fresh crop of rookies and transfers. There were some returning familiar faces on the benches too, as Black was managed by former LIRR All-Star Whiskey Lullabye (HVHRD) and Veloce Villain, and Pink was managed by former LIRR All-Star Violet Knockout (GGRD) and Ruby Redrum.

The bout started with an early lead for Black, including a crowd-pleasing Star Pass by rookie All-Star Angry Penguin to Meghan Rockey, a new addition to the Bruisers. Once Pink got their skates under them, they took a steady lead. Pink's aggressive jammer lineup, including newcomers Spicy Shrimp and Attackacardic, blasted through the jammer line scrum starts. Playing a tough offensive game, Pink slowly built the lead and was ahead by a slender 58-46 at the half.

Moving into the second period, Black regrouped and focused on their defensive game. They managed to hold back Pink and close the gap a little bit, but a 24-point power jam by C-Roll dashed those plans. Black didn't give up, with some bone-crunching hits from Miss Tea Maven who came to LIRR after playing renegade roller derby with the Psycho 78s, and Bad Ass Nat. Black finished strong with a defensive shutout of the Pink jammer after the period clock had run out, but it wasn't enough – Pink took home the victory 126-97.

Debuting rookies Spicy Shrimp and Sweets McBacon, both of whom will be skating with the All-Stars this season, were named team MVPs of Pink and Black respectively.

In addition to the best in New York women's and men's roller derby, the evening featured a raffle of several beautifully decorated bust casts of some fan favorites – including Celtic Thunder, Captain Morgan, C-Roll, Cyanide Kisses, and Veloce Villain – to benefit the Keep a Breast Foundation and support breast cancer awareness. The Roller Rebels are proud to support local charities and nonprofits through charity bouts, volunteer projects, and benefit events.

If this bout was any indication, 2012 will be a season to remember!

December 9th 2011

On Friday December 9th the Long Island Roller Rebels hosted the Pink & Black Ball, an annual Holiday Party/Awards Ceremony. All League members and close friends, the New York Shock Exchange, were in attendance to celebrate the end of the 2011 season.

Awards were announced and handed out by our very own Announcers, Jake Steel and Nixon Cutz. While glasses and bellies were filled the following awards were handed out:

For the Bruisers, the Most Valuable Blocker went to Lady Florence Fightin' Gal, the Most Valuable Pivot went to ShadowboxHER and the Most Valuable Jammer went to Veloce Villain!

For the All Stars, the Most Valuable Blocker went to Violet KnockOut, the Most Valuable Pivot was a tie to Breakneck Brie and Violet KnockOut and the Most Valuable Jammer, for the 6th consecutive year, C-Roll!

League Awards:
Smelliest Pads: Chest Blockwell
Best Booty Shorts: Violet KnockOut
Gnarliest Injury: Off Em Annie
Best Bout Face: Amaretto Sourpuss & Lady Florence Fightin' Gal
Best Looking in Stripes: Tex Pistol
Unsung Hero: Danger Prone Daphne
Most Efficient Official: Danger Prone Daphne
Best Coach: Jefferee
Most Improved: Lady Florence Fightin' Gal & Crashtastic Cate
Most Dedicated: Captain Morgan & Veloce Villain
Rookie of the Year: Veloce Villain

As the season ends we would like to say goodbye to the following skaters: Ames to Maim, Helda Raise, Little Loca, Missy Nigma and Violet KnockOut, you will always be remembered as part of the Roller Rebels family!

Congratulations Rebels on another Fantastic Season! We cannot wait for what 2012 has to bring!

November 2011

The Roller Rebels closed out the 2011 season with a Pink vs. Black bout for charity on November 12. As proud and committed members of the Long Island community, the Roller Rebels give back by contributing time and money to local charities and nonprofits such as Habitat for Humanity, the Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and Keep a Breast. In honor of Veteran's Day, the league selected the Wounded Warrior Project, which helps injured U.S. veterans with job retraining, aid and rehabilitation for prosthetics, and adaptive sports programs. In addition to the money donated to WWP, the Rebels donated table space to other local organizations to promote their work.

The bout featured mash-up teams made up of a mixture of All-Stars and Bruisers. The mixed rosters tested the skaters' versatility, turning teammates into competitors and requiring skaters to gel with a whole new team. This was a special test for the Bruisers--whose cohesiveness led them to an undefeated inaugural season--now playing against skaters familiar with their every move. Also featured were Baby Nuclear, Shockratease, and Knockout Kid, who made the trek to Old Bethpage on behalf of the Hellions of Troy.

Before the bout had even started, Bruiser Off'em Annie went down and had to be carried out by paramedics, reminding everyone that roller derby is a serious athletic sport and the injuries are real. We all wish Off'em speedy healing, and can't wait to see her big smile and even bigger hits out on the track!

Pink started off the game using the defensive strategies and scrum starts that had proved so effective for the Bruisers this season. Unfortunately, it was no match for Black's aggressive jammer lineup, including C-Roll, Trinity, and Baby Nuclear. Black took Lead Jammer position for the first seven jams of the bout, holding Pink back to only 3 points to their 42. After some changes in strategy, Pink managed to gain better control of the pack and let their jammer slip by. After a couple of high-scoring jams by Amaretto Sourpuss and Veloce Villain, Pink closed the gap and the teams momentarily sat neck-and-neck. Baby Nuclear pulled Black away at the last moment, taking them into the halftime with a slender lead of 18 points.

While both teams had played a clean first half, the emphasis on defense in the second period led to an increase in penalties. Black had made locker room adjustments of their own and dominated for several jams, with Little Loca and Captain Morgan leading the pack. Pink's desperation began to kick in and penalties mounted, but they managed to grab lead jammer and put some more points on the board. Then, were shut out for a full 10 jams and the bout seemed all but over for them. Black was on a roll, but Pink blockers ShadowboxHer and Knockout Kid made it clear that they weren't going down without a fight, and several jams passed with no points on either side.

In the end, Black defeated Pink 144-100, but the real winners were the entire Roller Rebels family, who completed another great season. Many thanks to our sponsors, fans, and volunteers for making 2011 a memorable year. The Rebels will return in early Spring of 2012 with a new crop of rookies and new All-Star and Bruiser lineups, bringing you more of Long Island's finest in flat track derby.

October 8th 2011

Rock-a-Betty Bruisers vs. Wilkes Barre/Scranton Roller Radicals

On October 8, the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers ended their historic first season undefeated, winning 274-97 over the Wilkes Barre/Scranton Roller Radicals. The Radicals, in their sophomore season, featured some familiar faces, including Outbreak Meggo, a borrowed skater from Shore Points Roller Derby. The Radicals laid some devastating hits and fielded a strong jammer rotation, but the Bruisers teamwork won the day in the end. The Bruisers are the most cohesive team the Long Island Roller Rebels have ever seen, and their clockwork pack strategy has proven to be an impenetrable force to contend with. The bout featured a stunning 30-point jam by rookie Crashtastic Cait, and St. Zombie's Fire as bout MVP. The Roller Rebels family congratulates the Bruisers on their amazing season – we look forward to all that you'll accomplish next year!

Catch your favorite Bruisers on mash-up teams with the All-Stars at our annual Pink vs. Black Charity Bout, which will benefit the Wounded Warrior Project. The bout will take place on November 12, and we're offering a special discounted ticket price of $5 for service members with military ID or in uniform. Don't miss the last bout of the Long Island Roller Rebels 2011

September 10th 2011

Rock-a-Betty Bruisers vs. Jerzy Derby Brigade

On September 10, just on the heels of Empire Skate Showdown, the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers travelled to Morristown, NJ to take on the Jerzey Derby Brigade's B-team, the Major Pains. For the first time, the Bruisers were the favored team, welcoming the Pains to the world of roller derby on their maiden bout. Camaraderie was high between the newly formed B-teams, but the Bruisers played to win, coming out on top to the tune of 351-16. The comfortable lead early on gave the Bruisers the opportunity to showcase the defensive strategies they had been working on all season, and let some blockers, such as Little Loca, Crashtastic Cait, and Helda Raise, prove their versatility by trying their hand at jamming. The Bruisers played a clean and consistent game, showing the Pains just how far they can hope to come in the course of a season. After such a brutal induction to tri-state roller derby, the Major Pains will definitely be setting their sights on the Bruisers for next season!

September 3rd 2011

Empire Skate Showdown 2011

On September 3, the Long Island Roller Rebels hosted the second annual Empire Skate Showdown. The tournament featured nine teams from across New York State playing in seventeen 30-minute challenge bouts, as well as the debut of the New York Shock Exchange's new home teams kicking off the daylong derby extravaganza with a full-length men's bout.

The Gotham Girls Roller Derby's Wall Street Traitors took home the Golden Apple for the second time, edging past Central New York in a 92-41 final after suffering an upset by Ithaca (38-59) earlier in the day. The true Cinderella story of the event was Hellions of Troy, who advanced the third place after having taken the "Bruised Apple" last place award at ESS 2010.

The Roller Rebels, fielding a mixed roster of All-Stars and some Rock-a-Betty Bruisers, started the day with a heartbreaking 70-72 loss to WFTDA newcomers Roc City Roller Derby (Rochester), who later fell just short of eliminating the Wall Street Traitors (71-77). Unfazed, the Roller Rebels went on to trounce Assault City (Syracuse) 88-18, and their "derby wife" league Hudson Valley Horrors (86-19) —including former LIRR All Star Whiskey Lullabye—before facing off with the Traitors in the consolation bracket. The intense bout, which pitted friends and friendly rivals from the neighbor leagues against one another, ended with the Rebels being eliminated in a 25-64 loss.

While the Rebels didn't take the title this year, they definitely took the glory of having put together one of the best showcases of women's roller derby on the east coast for a second year. Skaters, officials, and fans alike were delighted to have the opportunity to see all that New York has to offer, and look forward to a repeat performance in 2012!

August 2011

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers Upsets the Ithaca Blue Stockings 291-90

On Saturday August 6th, The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers packed up their skate gear and hit the road to Ithaca NY to battle the Ithaca Blue Stockings in what was a highly intense bout.

The Bruisers fought hard out of the gates—bringing to the track their best strategies that they have been working on perfecting all season, and it showed.

Both teams were off to a slow start, barely scoring a handful of points. The defense from both teams was apparent. Going into Jam 4 the Bruisers had the lead by a mere 6 points, a redeemable amount for the Blue Stockings. However in the next jam, the game took a massive twist. Blue Stockings jammer and 3 Blue Stocking blockers were sent to the box due to penalties giving the Bruisers a power play. Bruiser's jammer Veloce Villian took immediate advantage of this situation and put 24 points on the scoreboard, giving the Bruisers a significant lead. Only 2 jams later, again the BlueStockings lost their jammer to penalties, giving Bruiser's jammer, Trinity, five grand slams, resulting in 25 more points. At the half, the score was 129 – 43, Rock-a-Betty Bruisers.

The remainder of the bout continued to be a huge success for the Bruisers, as they kept those defensive walls on lockdown only allowing the Blue Stocking to score an additional 47 points while they went on to score a whopping 162. The final score: 291 – 90, Rock-a-Betty Bruisers.

July 2011

On July 9, the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers travelled to Atlantic City to tussle with Shore Points Roller Derby’s Boardwalk Brawlers. Braving the stifling South Jersey heat and humidity, and a slick track surface that put their skating skills to the test, the Bruisers continued their unbroken winning streak with a 178-133 victory.

The Bruisers came to Jersey well-prepared, having scrimmaged the Brawlers early in the season. The Bruisers managed to completely shut out the Brawler jammers for the first several jams until they fielded their double-threat captain, Out-Break Meggo. Fortunately, the Bruisers were already familiar with her “psych-out” tactic of blocking the opposing jammer. They played a clean and steady game, with Trinity bringing in an early 30-point jam, and an unbreakable defensive pack led by team captain ShadowboxHer. 

By the second half, the heat and exhaustion had settled in. What had been a relatively clean game in the first period started to see more minor and major penalties, including an expulsion for Gross Misconduct by one of the Brawlers. The Brawlers saw their first two-digit jams of the evening, and the home-rink advantage showed as they slowly chipped away at the Bruisers’ lead. Once again, the Bruisers proved their defensive skill, minimizing the damage even during power jams. Even though the Brawlers slightly edged out the Bruisers in the second half, with a strong last jam by Molly Hatchet, the Bruisers’ hard work in the first half paid off in another great victory.

Come congratulate the Bruisers on their remarkable inaugural season at the Warped Tour at the Nassau Coliseum on July 23, and wish them well as they travel to take on the Ithaca Bluestockings on August 6.

June 26, 2011 – Long Island Roller Rebels at East Coast Derby Extravaganza

June 24-26, 2011 was the fifth annual East Coast Derby Extravaganza (ECDX), hosted by the Philly Roller Girls in Feasterville, PA. This event is always the highlight of the summer on the East Coast, drawing teams, players, and vendors from all over the Eastern region and beyond. The traditional venue, the Sportsplex, boasts three rinks of nonstop derby and a giant swimming pool full of rollergirls and rollerfans, but the Rebels were there for business instead of pleasure: the All-Stars played two WFTDA sanctioned bouts against Canadian teams, and the Bruisers ambitiously challenged members of the host league to a half-hour mini-bout.

The All-Stars kicked off the Rebel derby action in a bout against WFTDA newcomers the Tri-City Rollergirls (Kitchener, Ontario). The Rebels started strong, but it was clear as the first period wore on that the beating from Tri-City's strong offensive pack took the wind out of the All-Stars sails, and they found themselves behind. Then C-Roll delivered a 20+ point jam, putting the All-Stars back into the lead heading into the second period. The hard fought, evenly-matched game was marked by several hair-raising lead changes and a whole lot of cowbell. Unfortunately, the Tri-City Thunder came out ahead, defeating the Rebels 150-124, a slim margin by derby standards. LIRR wishes them well as they embark on their first season of WFTDA rankings - but watch out, Tri-City, because the training wheels are off!

Undaunted, the Rebels focused on watching more derby to learn from other leagues, and the fun-loving league was conspicuously absent from the many afterparties throughout Feasterville and Philly. The following morning, the All-Stars hard work and discipline paid off when they trounced the Hammer City Harlots (Hamilton, Ontario) 253 to 78 in a “hangover bout” before most attendees had even had their morning coffee. The All-Stars shattered all previous records, winning by the largest margin in Rebel history. The Harlot defense seemed bewildered by the Rebel jammers, and blockers Anna Tramp and Chest Blockwell did amazing offensive work, tearing down walls and sending the Harlots flying into the "suicide seats."

Later that afternoon, the Bruisers took to the challenge bout track against the Philly Block Party, a pickup team comprising members of the Cheeseskates, Philly home teams, and even some Independence Dolls. This was the maiden Bruiser bout for rookies Crashtastic Cate, who did LIRR proud last month playing as a sub for the Hudson Valley zomB Squad, and Little Loca, who is returning from an ankle break and surgery at the beginning of the season. Even against such tough competitors, the Bruisers maintained their undefeated debut season with a 55-48 win, putting the East Coast on notice that the new kids in town mean business.

One of the most exciting features of ECDX is the rink dedicated to two days worth of comically themed challenge bouts. Players from WFTDA heavyweights skate side-by-side with rookies from all corners of North America in half-hour mixed team challenge bouts that pit Crafters vs. Bakers, Cougars vs. Kittens, and Star Wars vs. Star Trek. The Bruisers’ own glamazons Ms. Pac-Jam and Ames to Maim skated to victory in Glamazons vs. Shortbus, while Lady Florence Fightin’ Gal and Little Loca represented the Bruisers on Team Latina in Cesar Chavez v. Malcolm X and Beans vs. Rice.

Come celebrate a successful ECDX with us at the Warped Tour at the Nassau Coliseum on July 23. The next chances to see the Rebels before they return to their home rink for Empire Skate Showdown will be on 7/9/11 when the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers head to NJ to play against Shore Points Roller Derby, and on 7/16/11 when the All-Stars head upstate to bout the Hudson Valley Horrors.

June 11, 2011 -- The Rock-A-Betty Bruisers Remain vs. Brick City Bruisers

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers continued their undefeated inaugural season with a 128-64 victory over the Garden State Rollergirls’ Brick City Bruisers on June 11 at Skate Safe America, Old Bethpage.

The bout started with an early lead in favor of Brick City, with strong offensive blocking by the Jersey girls scattering the pack and leaving the Bruiser jammer rotation scrambling for scraps. After a series of low-scoring hit-it-and-quit-it jams by Brick City, the Bruisers regrouped. By the end of the first quarter, they managed to staunch the bleeding and hold back the Brick City jammers. A 13-point jam by Trinity propelled the Bruisers toward a small lead that grew to 10 points by the end of the period.

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers proved their Roller Rebel stripes by coming back stronger in the second half. They started the second period aggressive, and were met by an intensely physical Brick City defense. Their months of intensive strategic training with managers Jefferee and Anne Frankenstein -- both former LIRR referees and seasoned derby skaters -- paid off: the Bruisers took a beating but formed wall after wall to keep Brick City at bay. Exhaustion and frustration started to show through toward the end of the second half, when the Brick City major penalties forced them to skate shorthanded for a majority of the jams, eventually without a fouled-out Toni Soprano. Il Bandito managed to break the curse and deliver an 8-point jam, but it was too late for Brick City.

The Bruiser’s second home bout saw fantastic blocking and strategy on the track, which helped jammers, Trinity rake in 46 points, with the deceptively dainty Betty or Not close behind her with 43 points. In addition to the rookies from the 2010 Fresh Blood class, the evening’s roster included returning favorites Serial Mom and Cherri Pistol, and Charm City transfer Ames to Maim. The next chance to see the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers in action will be at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Philadelphia, when they face off with the Philly Roller Girls’ Block Party in a Sunday challenge bout.

May 21, 2011 -- Long Island Roller Rebels at Carolina Roller Girls

Just hours after suffering a heartbreaking, 3 point last jam loss to Dominion earlier in the day, the Rebels took to the track again to face the WFTDA Eastern Region #8 Carolina Roller Girls. The Rebels fought hard and skated their hearts out, even fielding a few unlikely jammers with Anna Tramp and Chest Blockwell donning the star cover, but they could not overcome the powerful blocking and jamming from their southern sisters from Carolina as they took the eventual loss of 333-56.

However, in true Roller Rebel fashion, they then descended on the North Carolina State Fair, and with Deep Fried Bacon and Ribs in hand, proceeded to throw and win their own private after party.


May 21, 2011 -- Long Island Roller Rebels vs. Dominion Derby Girls

On a sweltering May morning in Raleigh, NC, the Long Island Roller Rebels All-Stars took the track for warm ups, most of them having only arrived at their hotel four hours earlier, after driving through the night to attend the Got To Be NC Invitational Roller Derby Tournament. The Rebels were preparing for what proved to be, a nail biter of a bout against the Dominion Derby Girls from Virginia Beach, VA. These two teams had met twice before, the first time during the 2008 season when, in front of a hometown LI crowd, Dominion took down the Rebels beating them by a score of 307-6. The Rebels cut that margin down exponentially in 2010 to just a 49 point difference as they fought hard in an eventual loss of 213-164. Long Island, coming off a big win against Lehigh Valley, headed south to try and get a little payback.

Both teams came out fighting and the score stayed close, with Long Island holding the lead for most of the bout, with LIRR jammers C-Roll and Celtic Thunder obtaining Lead Jammer status most of the time with the help of veteran blockers Violet KnockOut, Captain Morgan and Chest Blockwell, who on offense and defense, helped their jammers score points while often keeping the DDG jammer stuck in the pack.

With 1:38 to go in the 2nd half, the Rebels held what should have been a comfortable 20 point lead, but in the way that roller derby can change in a minute the Rebels would be denied. In an already penalty filled bout, on both sides, C-Roll went to the box for her 4th minor during her initial pass, along with 2 other Rebel blockers, leaving the DDG jammer on the track for what would prove to be a 23 point power jam to take the lead. C-Roll was released from the box with 30 seconds left on the jam clock, but could not get through the pack fast enough before time ran out leaving the final score as a heartbreaking DDG 148 – LIRR 145.

June 21

The Rock-a-Betty Bruisers proved their Roller Rebel stripes by coming back stronger in the second half. They started the second period aggressive, and were met by an intensely physical Brick City defense. Their months of intensive strategic training with managers Jefferee and Anne Frankenstein ó both former LIRR referees and seasoned derby skaters ó paid off: the Bruisers took a beating but formed wall after wall to keep Brick City at bay. Exhaustion and frustration started to show through toward the end of the second half, when the Brick City major penalties forced them to skate shorthanded for a majority of the jams, eventually without a fouled-out Toni Soprano. Il Bandito managed to break the curse and deliver an 8-point jam, but it was too late for Brick City.

The Bruiser's second home bout saw the return of "Team Trinity," the rambunctious fans of the rookie jammer. Cheered on by vuvuzelas and rally towels, Trinity skated her way to bout high-scorer position, raking in 46 points, with the deceptively dainty Betty or Not close behind her with 43 points. In addition to the rookies from the 2010 Fresh Blood class, the evening's roster included returning favorites Serial Mom and Cherri Pistol, and Charm City transfer Ames to Maim.

Both the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers and the All-Stars hit the road, taking on multiple opponents at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Philadelphia. The All-Stars play two WFTDA-sanctioned bouts - against Tri-City Roller Girls on Saturday June 25th and Hammer City Roller Girls on Sunday June 26th. The Bruisers will face off with the Philly Roller Girls' Block Party in a challenge bout on Sunday.

April 23

The Long Island Roller Rebels hit the road Saturday April 23rd to take on the "Skate Free or Die" of New Hampshire Roller Derby in a WFTDA sanctioned bout. Skating with a small roster of only 12, the Rebels knew that they would have to put the endless endurance workouts and practices into execution in order to skate out on top.

The bout started out close, very close. With either team not scoring points until the 6th jam when Rebel jammer, C-Roll put up 2 points to NHRD's jammer Tank'd Girl's 6pts. The Rebels would be out skated the remainder of the half as NHRD's jammers chipped away each jam earning 40pts to the Rebels grim16 points.

The second half would be a lot different for the Rebels All Stars. They wanted nothing more than their first WFTDA win of the 2011 season and they were not about to go home defeated. In the first jam of the second half the Rebels started out short, very short, with 2 blockers in the box and blocker, Breakneck Brie, having to take the track to wait for her turn in the box. Team manager, Jefferee, played a pure defensive strategy as jammer, Violet KnockOut held NHRD's MadAme Scurrie to 0pts in an extremely impressive full 2minute booty block. LIRR finished the jam killing all penalties and ready to start jam number 2 with a full pack. Rebel Jammer C-Roll had a fierce second half putting up 11pt, 14pt and 17pt jams in consecutive order on the board. C-Roll would finish the night earning 67 of the 85 points for the Rebels. Blocking techniques by Rebel All Stars, Anna Tramp, Chest Blockwell, Violet KnockOut and Hardcory would hardly go unnoticed as they held NHRD to only 18 points in the second half. The Rebels took home their first WFTDA win of the 2011 season beating NHRD's "Skate Free or Die" 85-58.

April 9

On Saturday April 9th the Rock-a-Betty Bruisers made their debut at Skate Safe America on Long Island! The newest travel team of the Long Island Roller Rebels All Female Flat Track Roller Derby league took on the zomBsquad of the Hudson Valley Horrors, longtime foe of the Roller Rebels. The night was back and forth, in the first jam no score was placed on the board. Not until the 5th jam, when Roller Rebel rookie, Trinity, took to the jammer line and put up a massive 20pt jam to start the Bruisers fury that would stay true the remainder of the bout. In jam 6, the zomBies returned the call when Pin Up Ghoul had a 15 point jam. At the end of the first half the score was too close to call, as the Bruisers left the track with 52 points and the zomBies took over the lead with 62 points.

In the Second half the Bruisers came back strong, as jammers Veloce Villain and Trinity placed 2 and 4 point jams on the board, keeping the zomBies to only scoring one point until the 6th jam of the second half. But trouble struck again for the zomBies, when Trinity put up another 20 point jam in the fifth jam of the second half. This would be another lead change as the Bruisers took the lead 82-63. That was the last time of the night the zomBies would see the lead. As Trinity (79pts) Veloce Villain (34pts) and Betty or Not (17pts) worked the score to their advantage. The blocking efforts of team captains D-Ball and ShadowboxHer would not go unnoticed holding the zomBies to 29 points in the second half. The final score was 130-91, the Bruisers came out Victorious. Be sure not to miss their next bout against the Brick City Bruisers of GSR at Skate Safe on Saturday 6/11. This Bruiser on Bruiser action is sure to be a Hit!

February 26th

On Saturday, February 26th, the LIRR All-Stars kicked off their travel season, taking on Suburbia Roller Derby's WFTDA-ranked team, the Suburban Brawl. The Rebels begin their 5th season ranked 17thin the Eastern region, and hoped for an upset against the 14th-ranked Brawl to propel them up the rankings. Unfortunately these hopes were postponed by a heartbreaking loss by a margin of over 200 points.

Rebel fans were encouraged when jammer C-Roll took the lead, putting early points on the board for the All-Stars. After some quick adjustments, the Brawl defense proved impenetrable for the Rebels. Even with outstanding blocking by Chest Blockwell and Hardcory, both in their first bout back from serious injuries, the Brawl's clockwork pack strategy shut out the All-Star jammer rotation for most of the first half. As frustration mounted, so did the penalties, with Rebel jammers watching many jams from the box.

Known for second half come-backs, the Rebels returned from halftime with some fresh strategies. Despite the Brawl's growing lead, crowd favorite Anna Tramp kept a positive attitude, showing off her dance moves as she took the jammer line. The Rebels managed to execute a handful of complicated and fan-pleasing star passes, but the thrashing continued. Brawl jammers AWOL and bout MVP Brawl Stanley continued to skate unopposed power jams while the Rebel jammer, sometimes accompanied by a blocker or two, served a penalty. The All-Stars fought hard until the end, finishing the bout battered but unbowed.

The All-Stars will get another chance to move up the WFTDA rankings when they take on the Connecticut Roller Girls Stepford Sabotage (#12) on March 12 in their first home bout of the season.

February 10

Join us on Saturday March 12th, 2011 for the Long Island Roller Rebels Season Opener!! Starting there, 5th season, the Long Island Roller Rebel All Stars will take on the Connecticut Roller Girls: Stepford Sabotage. The Rebel All Stars are looking to move up in the WFTDA rankings this season (currently ranked 17th in the Eastern Division) by taking on the higher ranked ladies of CTRG (currently ranked 12th). You can check the WFTDA national rankings at You will also receive two bouts for the price of one!!! The men of the New York Shock Exchange will be hosting the Conneticuit Death Quads in a full-length bout! Doors at 6pm and the men’s bout will begin at 6:30p! There will also be a halftime performance by Donnie’s School of Irish Dance in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Be sure to get your tickets in advance, as this event WILL sell out!

September 18

On Saturday September 18th history was made at Skate Safe America when the Ladies of Laceration took their first victory in Roller Rebel history against the Wicked Wheelers. The score was close at the halftime, with the Wicked Wheelers in the lead 51-36, but the Ladies came back strong in the second half to take the win 97-83. The Ladies will face the Wheelers one more time this season on Saturday October 23rd at Skate Safe to see who will go to the Championship in December.

September 4 - Empire Skate Showdown

BY Celtic Thunder and Whiskey Lullabye

On September 4, 2010, Roller Derby History was made as the first ever New York State Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby Tournament, The Empire Skate Showdown, was hosted by the Long Island Roller Rebels (LIRR) at Skate Safe America, in Old Bethpage, NY. With the entire Northeast region being threatened by Hurricane Earl, these 200 skaters, refs, nso’s and volunteers would not be denied. Each of these eight New York State teams brought their own storm to the track. From the Eastern end of Long Island to the Canadian border, these skaters came to play the game they all love.

The event featured twelve, 30 minute bouts between 8 teams from all over the Empire State, with a special kick off bout featuring the New York Shock Exchange Men’s Roller Derby League. The remainder of the day was broken down, round-robin style, into brackets. On rink 1, the winners of each game faced off while the losers continued to compete on rink 2 for 5th through 8th place. 

The winners of the first four bouts automatically were placed into the winner’s bracket. The first win of the day came from the Albany All Stars (AASRD) who played short with only 8 skaters able to make the trip down from the capital city, narrowly beating the always tough Hudson Valley Horrors (HVH) 56 to 50.

LIRR, the host league, started out their day, with a blistering 126-11 rout over Syracuse based Assault City (ACRD). Savoring their win, over a 2 hour break, they settled in to watch the other teams battle it out to see who would win bragging rights, as well as the first ever ESS Apple Trophy.

Two other teams advanced to the winners bracket prior to the dinner break: Central New York (CNY) and Gotham’s Wall Street Traitors (WST). 

The next round of the winners bracket featured the highlight bout of the day as LIRR took on Gotham’s Wall Street Traitors. The Traitors roster featured several Gotham All-Stars including the always formidable Ginger Snap and jammer threat Hyper Lynx, while the Roller Rebels fielded a powerhouse defense including blocker Violet KnockOut and returning skater Anna Tramp. Through the first 12 jams, the Traitors pulled out to a 35 point lead, holding the Rebels to only 2 points. For the next five jams, Long Island, fueled by impressive jams by Amaretto Sourpuss and C-Roll as well as a solid defense, outscored the Traitors 27 to 6, cutting the Traitor’s lead down to 13. For the remainder of the bout the scoring went back and forth with effective jamming and impressive defensive strategies from both teams, with the Traitors finally pulling out the win by a score of 50 to 44.

Albany finished off their 2nd winners bracket bout with a close 53 – 51 win over a tenacious Central New York (CNY) team, battling through the tournament with a short roster and finally landed in the championship game against the Wall Street Traitors. The exhausted Albany team was no match for Gotham’s seasoned skaters and were easily defeated 85 to 20. 

All teams skated their hearts out, clearly demonstrating the true spirit of roller derby. 

Throughout the course of the action packed day, fans, fellow skaters, ref’s and non-skating officials (NSO) had the opportunity to take in much derby knowledge and activity as possible. Not only was this tournament an opportunity for the NY roller derby teams to compete, it was a huge learning experience. 

“The Empire Skate Showdown was a fantastic occasion to accelerate the sport of all female flat track roller derby in New York, by giving teams the opportunity to learn from each other in the best way possible, through experience,” said Captain Morgan, president of the Long Island Roller Rebels.

“Due to the varying skill levels of the participating leagues, it gave us all a chance to skate against teams we normally would not play throughout the season. When you compete against skaters with skill levels higher than yours, not only do you step up your own game, but you also have the opportunity to learn from the advanced strategies of the other, more experienced leagues you face.” said Whiskey Lullabye, tournament manager for the Empire Skate Showdown.

This tournament would not have been possible without the tireless work from all participating leagues, NSOs, refs, skaters, injured skaters, EMT’s, volunteers, fans, sponsors and vendors.

“Being injured, it nearly killed me to have to work so hard for something that I couldn't even participate in. But at the end of the day, as I sat in my highly flammable apple costume, I realized that what we did, what we worked so hard for, is something that will last way longer than any of our ‘derby careers’. It was an amazing feeling to have,” said currently injured skater and LIRR league treasurer, Eve. L. Taco.

“Saturday September 4th was one of the greatest days in my life. To see something that was simply an idea in my head several years ago come to life with the help of so many people was amazing. The LIRR’s main purpose was to bring leagues across NY state together to bond both on and off the track. In the end everyone had a great time, and that meant our goal was achieved,” said Morgan

Weekend of August 28

On Saturday 8/28 the Roller Rebels headed up North for the last road trip of the 2010 season to take on the Ithaca Suffrajets. Having come off the road on 2 recent losses, the Rebels had wanted nothing more than to end the 2010 All-Star season with a bang! Having only 10 skaters rostered for this bout: Captain Morgan, Amaretto Sourpuss, Violet KnockOut, Carnaga Electra, Cyanide Kisses, D-Ball, Celtic Thunder, Whiskey Lullabye, Breakneck Brie and returning skater, Anna Tramp, the Rebels came out on top with a final score of 155-122. Congratulations to the Roller Rebels All-Stars on a fantastic 2010 Travel season!

Weekend of August 14-15

After an exhausting bout played between the Thundercats and the Ladies of Laceration on Saturday 8/14, a mish mosh of skaters from the Roller Rebels took a 4 hour trip the next morning to Wilkes-Barre PA to take on the Scranton Roller Radicals in a full length action packed bout. The Roller Rebels were tired and exhausted, and short in numbers, with a roster of 8 skaters, the Roller Rebels took to the track. The 8 fire breathing derby filled skaters played there hearts out, playing 4-8 jams in a row, jamming and blocking back to back with no questions asked. In the end these 8 Roller Rebels: Jamaican Kush #1/2oz, St. Zombie's Fire #36DD, Whiskey Lullabye #001, Carnage Electra #101, Smurfetish #227, Anna Tramp #138 and Captains Amaretto Sourpuss #214 and Violet KnockOut #4 came out with the win 159-118. Congratulations Roller Rebels!

Weekend of June 26-27 :: ECE

This year the Long Island Roller Rebels traveled to Feasterville, PA to the annual East Coast Derby Extravaganza, where over 50 teams internationally represented on and off the track. With over 30 WFTDA sanctioned bouts, the Roller Rebels were lost in the action, not to mention spent some sweet time by the outdoor pool party, hosted by none other than Point N. Shoot, who made sure to bring the party in a blender! The Roller Rebels were accepted to play one thirty-minute challenge bout against team rivals, the Jersey Shore Roller Girls. Only this time the Roller Rebels came out on top with a final score of 65-30.

Saturday June 12th 2010

On Saturday June 12th 2010 the Long Island Roller Rebels All-Stars traveled to Lehigh Valley PA to take on the Lehigh Valley Roller Girls. These two teams had met previously on the track in 2008, the LIRR falling short of a victory, this time things would be different. The game looked grim for the Rebels with team Captain on the bench and only after 5 minutes the score displayed 24-0, in favor of the home team. By the end of the second half the Roller Rebels caught on to the strategic play and main jammer, V-Diva, and turned the score around, ending the 1st half in the lead 67-65. In the second half the Rebels came out stronger, not allowing LVRG to get ahead even once. By the end of the bout the score stood 171-137 in favor of the Rebels. This is the 4th win in a row for the Roller Rebels All-Stars, all wins have been taken on the road. The 2010 season record for the All-Stars stands 4-2. Next up, the All-Stars take on their first WFTDA sanctioned bout of the season down in Richmond VA against the River City Rollergirls on July 24th.

April 24th 2010

On Saturday April 24th the Roller Rebels All-Stars traveled up north to take on the Albany All-Stars in our state capital. Held at the state Armory with an outstanding crowd of over 1,000 cheering fans, the Rebels stole their hearts by the end of the third period. While the rest of the bout was played by standard WFTDA rules, this bout was played old-school style in 3 twenty minute periods of play. The Rebels took the lead quickly in the first jam, when C-Roll outscored Dottie Damage 10-0. With a strong defense it didn't take long for rebel jammers C-Roll, Amaretto Sourpuss and Celtic Thunder to put multiple points on the board. The Albany announcer, Moe, proclaimed C-Roll was the first jammer at their venue to put up the most points in one jam, with a 16pt jam in the second period. With a final score of 134-90, the Rebels All-Stars take there first win of the season on the road. The travel team heads up north again on May 8th when they take on Roc City in Rochester, NY.

April 17th 2010

On Saturday April 17th the Roller Rebels took on the Western Mass Destruction of Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. This bout followed a Men’s derby sanctioned bout between the men of the New York Shock Exchange and the men of PVRD, The Dirty Dozen, hosted by the Long Island Roller Rebels. In an extremely close bout, the NYSE ended up keeping their undefeated regime. The bout was fought hard between these 2 very competitive teams and would continue on with the ladies. While these men’s teams have been extremely familiar in the past on the track, the ladies had never met before.

At the end of the first half the score left on the board was a mere 51 to 45 in favor of Western Mass. Lead jammer status was split up among both teams equally in the first half, but the Rebels penalties seemed to have caught on in the second half. Just 6 points under par and back with a vengeance, the Roller Rebels came out strong, with outstanding blocking by Violet KnockOut, later to be dismissed from the bout with several minutes left on the clock, for too many turns in the box. The Rebels were neck in neck with the ladies of PVRD for the remainder of the bout, at one point coming back from a 22-point deficit. With only 4 minutes left, the score stood at 101 Rebels to 100 WMD. But tragedy struck when jammer Celtic Thunder of the Rebels was sent to the box for a major cutting the track, giving the WMD a break to score 15 points. With a final score of 120 to 105, the Rebels suffered another tough loss. The highest scoring jammer for the bout was C-Roll, wrapping up the majority of the Rebels score with 60 points.

March 13th 2010

On Saturday March 13th the Long Island Roller Rebels started the season by taking on the Jersey Shore Roller Girls in front of a sold out crowd of over 1,000 screaming fans! The battle between these two teams, ended in defeat for the Rebels, with a final score of 165 to 163. From the start of the first whistle, blown by Carol Di Salvo, a former blocker for the NY Chiefs in the early 1950’s, the Rebels fought for their position on the track. The Rebels last faced the ladies from Jersey Shore back in April of 2009. With a hard loss by 50 points and also the loss of team Captain, Captain Morgan, due to a knee injury which later took her out for the entire 2009 season, the Roller Rebels were more than excited to take on the JSRG on their home track. But not everything was as the Rebels had hoped on this night. Star jammer C-Roll, was missed the entire first 30 minutes of the bout due to a broken skate. While this affected the Rebels line up, jammers Amaretto Sourpuss and Celtic Thunder stepped up their game to pitch in jamming every other jam. The Rebels had the lead most of first half, thanks to aggressive blocking by Captain Morgan, Chest Blockwell, Raven Madd and Violet KnockOut. Then tragedy struck again at the end of the first period, when Chest Blockwell slammed two Jersey Shore girls to the ground, in the process-spraining her ankle, giving jammer Celtic Thunder the opportunity to score 14 points. Halftime ended with Jersey Shore in the lead 83 to 82.

The Rebels, being notorious for coming back harder in the second half, did put up a good fight, but unfortunately fell short to this Jersey Shore team. While packing on the penalties, and more jams seen with only 2 blockers on the track, than not, the Rebels fell just short of the win. Not before a re-adding of the scores was in order, just to confirm the 2 point win. The Rebels began their 5th season with a lesson. Fight hard, work together and never give up. Watch these brave gals step up to yet another battle on April 17th against Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. Check out the double header, which will be featuring the men of Pioneer Valley and The New York Shock Exchange. Doors open at 5:30pm. Whistle for the men’s bout is at 6:30pm.

The Long Island Roller Rebels sunk the Molly Rogers Roller Girls’ ship Saturday, November 14th, with a final score of 148 to 126, sending the Molly Girls …back on down to Florida.

From the start of the first whistle, blown by Nassau County Town Supervisor Kate Murray, both teams spent a lot of time on the floor; giving and taking hits, shoves, falls and pileups. What looked like a mosh-pit for the first three jams, ended up like a derby match thereafter. The Rebels built some walls, but that didn’t stop the Molly Rogers from sneaking on the inside every time, racking up their points. The entire game was neck-and-neck, with the Molly Rogers’ strongest jammer, Bash N Carrie, fighting through every jam like it was her last.

The Rebels’ star jammers, Amarretto Sourpuss and C-Roll, had to work very hard as they rotated every other jam and were on their own most of the time (either due to their teammates receiving penalties or just a lack of creating a solid pack). Both teams had a very spread out pack, resulting in most blockers having to fend for themselves. In derby, we all know staying with your buddy in the pack makes for a solid defense. In this case, both teams were not on the ball. Needless to say, Amaretto Sourpuss and C-Roll did not let the points escape them.

As always, after half-time, the Rebels played harder and more aggressively to maintain their positions on the track. There were some solid plays by the Rebels’ pivot, Violet Knockout, and blocker, Hard Cory, who fought hard for their positions in the front of the pack. Again pack status is extremely important as the team who controls the pack, usually wins. With seven minutes left on the board, the score was 117 to 111 with Molly Rogers in the lead. Fans were cheering uncontrollably for the Rebels to obtain victory, but it was a close call.

Shortly thereafter, Molly Rogers’ star jammer, Bash N Carrie, was ejected along with Rebels blocker, Ninja Starr for unsportsmanlike conduct, allowing C-Roll to own the rest of the game. C-Roll put on a great showstopper as she leapt over the final pileups, contributing to the final 22 point lead! And with that, the Rebels win their final home game of the season!

Ding Dong The Witch is Dead

Thundercats Remain Undefeated!

The Wicked Wheelers and Rolling Thundercats met for the last time this season on Saturday, October 24th. The Championship Brawl was a duel; who would be taking home the 2009 Joy Cup?

What a fight to the finish!!! The Thundercats and the Wheelers went point-for-point in the first several jams, making it a tight bout. Serious hitting was seen from borrowed Ladies, D-Ball and Violet Knockout, which eventually led to Knock Out’s ejection in the first half.

But that didn’t stop the Wheelers from stomping on Thundercats’ star jammer, C-Roll, who landed herself in the penalty box on several occasions for cutting the track, which allowed the Wheelers to take control. The half-time score was 65 to 47 with the Wheelers in the lead….

In the second half, the Thundercats refused to let the Wheelers take the front of the pack, building their walls immediately to hold the Wheelers back. Great efforts from pivots Tailgunner Flo and Freudy N. Slip made this possible. Jammer Celtic Thunder, used her own strategy of hitting the opposing jammer out-of-bounds so that they could not obtain lead jammer status. Celtic put up at least four points per jam, while allowing C-Roll to rack up the majority. Blockers Raven Madd, Chest Blockwell, Mean Frostine and Serial Mom, fought strong to keep the Wheelers’ strongest blockers, MadDonna, Hard Cory and Northern ExposeHer, off their jammers. The score was close, right down to the last 11 minutes when the score was tied at 88. The Thundercats pushed ahead with several points each remaining jam, while simultaneously not allowing the Wheelers to put any more points on the board for the remainder of the bout. A close game with a final score of 102 to 88.

Have no fear, that’s NOT the end for the Long Island Roller Rebels this season! Come watch as the Roller Rebel All Stars take on the Molly Rogers Roller Girls from Melboune, FL on November 14th at Skate Safe. Grab a chair and a beer from our friends at Long Ireland Brewery. Sit back and enjoy some real derby action!

Roller Rebels Vs Morristown 10/17/09

The Long Island Roller Rebels skated over the Morristown Madams on Saturday, October 17th, rolling on out of New Jersey with a final score of 154 to 65.

The Rebels entered the game with a positive outlook and determination to dominate. Skating this bout with new all-star team members, Hard Cory, Northern ExposeHer, J-Bone, Tripsy Rose Lee and recent transfer from the Hellions of Troy, Point N Shoot. Though it took the newly formed all-star team about three jams to finally work together as a pack, they still managed to put impressive numbers on the board.

Morristown put up a fight, hitting and checking with much attempted force, however failed to put the breaks on Rebels veteran jammers, C-Roll and Amaretto Sourpuss who were both able to sneak away with impressive 19 point jams!

At the half, The Rebels were dominating with a score of 72 to 28. Rebels history shows that they always come back stronger in the second half. The Rebels stepped up the hitting, which was clearly illustrated in the second to last jam when Violet Knockout pulled an amazing Johnny Crash on Morristown’s Captain, Dee Licious, deterring her from playing the rest of the bout.

The win against the Morristown Madam’s pumped up the Rebels for their next inter league against the Molly Roger Roller Girls on November 14th at the Rebels home rink, Skate Safe America in Bethpage.

Ladies Vs Thundercats 9/19/09

Bloody paw prints remained on the track as the Thundercats marked their territory. The Ladies of Laceration butchered themselves, leaving their own blood to mop up on Saturday, September 19th when the Rolling Thundercats took victory with a final score of 186 to 90.

Skating short with only 10 players, the Thundercats had to paw up their game. And they did. Snarf . Snarf. Not only did Jammers C-Roll, Celtic Thunder, Freudy N. Slip and Hard Cory rack in some nice numbers, the Thundercat pack was tight and effective, allowing for them to take full control. The Thundercats demonstrated communication and teamwork on the track, providing whips, pushes and serious blocking in both offense and defense positions, giving them the opportunity to remain in the lead throughout the two periods.

Though the Ladies put in a great effort, it seemed as if they were distracted, resulting in even playing an entire jam without fielding a Jammer. The Ladies ended the game with 90 points on the board—30 provided by Beaver, 27 by Tailgunner Flo and help from Muscles Marinara. We also saw a great debut by Tripsy Rose Lee contributing 16 points for her very first bout.

Undefeated all season, the Cats will once again meet the Witches on the track on October 24th at the Championship bout. Seven days short of Halloween, where witches and black cats form an alliance to haunt those around them, the witches and cats will actually turn against one another on the track. Will the Wicked Wheelers melt the Rolling Thundercats on October 24th or will the Cats claw their way to the Championship Trophy?

It’s a bout not to be missed! Bring a chair, grab a beer and make some noise as the Wicked Wheelers and Rolling Thundercats duel it out on the track. Trip or Treat!

On Saturday August 29th, the Rebels all stars made a short trip to Yonkers, NY to take on the newly WFTDA accepted Suburban Brawl. In their first WFTDA sanctioned home bout, the Suburban Brawl put up a fierce fight against the Rebels. After the first half the Rebels felt the bruises with a low score of just 11 points while the Brawl put up a phenomenal 81 points. The Rebels came back strong in the second half adding another 29 points to the scoreboard and only allowing the Brawl another 77, with a final score of 158 to 40. The last jam was when the Rebels finally came together as a pack, when blocker D-Ball, who had an outstanding bout with jammer takedowns, took the jammer line with only a minute left on the period clock. Violet KnockOut and Chest Blockwell held the front of the pack for the first and last time that night. The Rebels fought hard, but learned more that night and will now prepare for their next home interleague bout on Saturday 11/14 against the Molly Roger Roller Girls, coming all the way up from Florida.

On Saturday, August 15th, the Wicked Wheelers and Rolling Thundercats met skate to skate once again to claim their status on the rink. And what a bout! Both the Cats and Wheelers put forth a strong and aggressive show. The Wheelers had some serious walls that were tough to break, thanks to Amaretto Sourpuss, who rotated out of her normal jamming position to pivot for most of the bout. The determination of the back blockers such as D-Ball and Northern Expose Her were quite intimidating. That didn’t stop the Thundercats trickster C-Roll who pulled some impressive lateral moves and jumps to claim her points. The score was 30 to 77 at halftime with the Cats in the lead. However, that didn’t stop the Wheelers from coming back strong in the second half. We saw some true derby action including an entire jam where the Wheelers were the only ones on the track, due to the large amount of penalties made by the Cats. The Wheeler pack came to a dead stop allowing lead jammer Red Snapper to rack up 20 points before the Cats could put any points on the board. This allowed the Wheelers to close the gap a little more. The final score of this rematch was 124 to 101. The victory went to the Thundercats. Will the Wheelers and the Thundercats have a 3rd rematch in the Championship bout? We shall see. It depends on who wins the last intraleague bout on September 19. Will it be the Ladies of Laceration or the Rolling Thundercats? Anticipation Awaits!

They are typical Ladies, folks—if you consider bloodshed andbeatings normal behavior for a Lady! These are quite the opposite of your sweet, well-mannered, tea-drinking women. They are the Ladies of Laceration bringing on a challenge to their wicked opponents the Witches—that’s right—the Wicked Wheelers.

A duel on skates, not on broomsticks, took place this haunted evening on Saturday, July 11th. The Wheelers determined to use their witchcraft (or skatecraft) to melt these ladies on the rink. Boil Boil Ladies and Trouble!

Though the efforts were there to burn the witches, the Ladies fell short, in the end, by 56 points.

Coach Regine Bull held the Ladies spirits together the entire bout—providing them with determination and pride. The Ladies showed excellent blocking by Violet Knockout, D-Ball and J-Bone, but not enough for the Wheelers to go down. The Wheelers took a major lead, with ease, as the Ladies failed to hold their walls together….. Remember, the team who controls the pack, wins! Because of the gaps on the track, Wheelers’ jammers Greasy DeeCee, Amaretto Sourpuss, Celtic Thunder & Freudy N. Slip (Celtic and Freudy both on loan for the night from the Rolling Thundercats), were able to zig zag their way to the front of the pack, collecting those points fairly easily.

The Wheelers crushed the Ladies with a final score of 148 to 92. Have no fear, the Ladies will try to slice and dice their way to the championship bout, held on October 24th. But first they must prove their performance against the Rolling Thundercats at the final intraleague bout on September 19. Will the Ladies survive this upcoming skate-stabbing event and make it to the Championships?

Come and see for yourself. Bring a chair and grab a beer from our buddy’s the Long Ireland Brewing Company, and cheer on your favorite team.

On Saturday June 20th, 2009, the Long Island Roller Rebels Travel Team packed their skates and prepared for the drive to wreak victory over the Hellions of Troy. This particular bout had some newcomers to the travel team, consisting of J-Bone, Northern Exposeher , Greasy Deasy and Smurfetish, whom did a fantastic job! It was a close call at half-time though folks, with the Rebels only leading by 11 points with a score of 79 to 68. With only 30 minutes left in the period, the Rebels had to step up their game. Back on the track for the 2nd period, the Rebels tightened up their skates, put their game faces on and played derby harder than ever! Jammers Amaretto Sourpuss, C-Roll, Greasy Deasy and Terrorpin racked up the points while the Rebel blockers laid some Hellions out. Sourpuss, playing very defensively while jamming, pulled out some serious hits while making her way through the pack. WD-40’s one and only Greasy Deasy was slick on the track, weaving her way in and out increasing the score. Don’t forget about Terrorpin who quickly snuck up against the Hellion prey and stole her points with hardly any penalties. And of course quick like lightening, C-Roll, as usual, pulled her tricks out of her wheels, which contributed to the extremely successful victory of 168 to 72.These ladies should be extremely proud of a job well done! And to show their excitement and sportsWomanship, they danced their skates off with the lovely hosts of the bout: The Hellions of Troy!

Black Wins!! On Saturday May 16th the Long Island Roller Rebels played their Home Opener for the 2009 season, beginning the 4th season for the Rebels, in front of a Sold Out crowd! It was an exhibition bout and all eligible skaters were placed on two teams in a simple debut of Pink vs. Black. Both teams included veteran skaters such as C-Roll, Amaretto Sourpuss, MadDonna, Regine Bull, Cyanide Kisses and the return of Killer Tofu, a member of the Roller Rebels in the 2006 and 2007 season. This bout also featured new members of the Roller Rebels, who are to NOT be missed this upcoming season!

The bout started off with Pink in the lead when jammer Regine Bull, put up one point and intelligently called off the jam without C-Roll able to put any points on the board. In the next jam, Greasy Decee, of the Pink team, who in her first jam ever put up a fierce score of 14 points! Veteran Tailgunner Flo was held to only 2 points and from the beginning Pink retained control of the scoreboard.

Not until the end of the first half when the score was 66 Pink and 65 Black, would Black begin to see a difference on the scoreboard. In the last jam of the first half, C-Roll put up a 20 point jam for the Black team, as Pink sent two blockers and one jammer to the penalty box. Several skaters from both teams had been ejected from this point due to high penalty’s, and black took advantage of how many skaters were on the track.

The rest of the night was a battle between the teams, mainly blocking took control of the bout. At this point Pinks team Captain’s, MadDonna and Amaretto Sourpuss, couldn’t do much as team Pink constantly fell short on the track with skaters in the penalty box. Team Black maintained control of the bout and finished with a winning score of 141 to 127.

On Saturday April 25th the Roller Rebels headed south to the Asbury Park Convention Center to take on the Jersey Shore Roller Girls. In a relatively close match up, the Roller Rebels started off on the right foot, trailing Jersey Shore by only several points. Than tragedy struck when team captain, Captain Morgan, was injured and was inable to play the remainder of the 2 thirty minute periods, only 7 minutes into the bout. With the loss of their team Captain, the Roller Rebels managed to stay on their game trailing by no more than 20 points. Not until midway through the second half Jammers, Tailgunner Flo and C-Roll; working double duty as back to back blockers and jammers, spent some time in the penalty box, and the Roller Rebels were just unable to make up the points. With a final score of 154 to 94 the Roller Rebels showed heart and dignity throughout the bout, but promised to improve their game on May 9th when the team heads to Vermont to take on the Green Mountain Derby Dames.


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