Aural Fix article on LIRR vs. BDD

Long Island Roller Rebels Meet a Boston Massacre

By Rich Hughes

It was a Saturday in the middle of June, and what better way to spend the night than an evening of roller derby?

The Long Island Roller Rebels are Long Islands very own all-female flat track roller derby league. They came into existence in August of 2005, and their three-team league has been playing intramural games since this past April.

This night was a new challenge for the fledgling league, however, as an All-Star team made up of some of the best players in the league was scheduled to face off against the traveling team for Bostons league, the Boston Derby Dames. The Boston team, named The Boston Massacre, came into the game more experienced than our Long Island heroines their league has been around longer, and their traveling team already had several games under its belt against other teams.

The atmosphere inside the Skate Safe Arena in Bethpage was festive, and somewhat surreal. Live music was provided before the game and in between periods by Deciding Tonight, an up-and-coming local band that has been doing quite a bit of touring over the last year or so. Theyre really good, and definitely in the same vein as other successful LI bands like Taking Back Sunday.

Various other figures from the local music scene were also seen throughout the crowd, including Space Robot Scientists lead singer and guitarist Andre Bermudez, Evelyn Red guitarist Steve Hizzed Goldstein, and pub owner Steve Beery of Mr. Beerys (taking in the game with his son).

Meanwhile, over the course of the night, a man in a giant banana suit was repeatedly chased by a man in a gorilla suit; Long Island announcer Jake Steel had a sweaty wristband thrust into his face by one of the Boston skaters and promised to vomit blood; Mamma Clobber, the real-life mother of Boston captain Ivana Clobber, was interviewed between periods in a display of roller derby family values; and at one point near the end of the game, with both teams jammers in the penalty box, an arm-wrestling match broke out between a Boston skater and a Long Island skater. (I think Boston won, but I was blocked out by the crowd, and couldnt see for sure).

And what of the game itself? The Massacre just proved too much for the Roller Rebels to handle.

Quickly, for the uninitiated, in roller derby, both teams skate around an oval track. Starting behind the rest of the pack, one player from each team, called the jammer starts behind the rest of the pack. The jammer has to fight her way through the rest of the pack, and lap them. After that, she gets one point for every member of the opposing team she passes until the end of the jam.

On the first jam of the game, the Boston skater breezed through the entire pack with ease, and managed to pass them three times, scoring 14 points for her team, while the Roller Rebels jammer was hammered by the other Bostonians, and kept from ever breaking free. After two jams, the score was something like 28-2, and it was obvious it was going to be a long night for the Roller Rebels.

To their credit, the LI locals never stopped fighting, and by the end of the game, the Roller Rebels were contesting more strongly -- their blocking improved, and their jammers started to get the knack of breaking through the Boston wall. Star jammer C-Roll of the Mid Island Rolling Thundercats had several strong jams, and her teammate Anna Tramp did some fine blocking. It was a good learning experience for the Roller Rebels -- they learned they can take their game to anentirely new level.

Still the final score was Boston Massacre 165 Long Island Roller Rebels 62, a testament to Bostons disciplined play, and to the copious amounts of illegal steroids rumored to be used by the Boston team. (OK that last part is a total lie, and they are so going to kick my ass when they see me next for that one, heh heh).

After the game, both teams lined up to shake hands, trade hugs, etc., in a display of sisterhood and mutual respect. Then they all went out to Club Metasin together to get hammered at the post-game party.

A good time was had by all.

(The Long Island Roller Rebels have a website at www.longislandrollerrebels.com. The leagues three teams, The Wicked Wheelers of the West, The Mid Island Rolling Thundercats and The East End Ladies of Laceration, will continue to play each other, with games scheduled on July 1, July 22, August 19 and September 23. Their first-ever league championship game will be held on Saturday, October 14th.)